things have gotten out of hand..

ok.. first things first.. i need to apologize.. for the past few months.. I have develop a sense of PARANOIA... i've been on 'holiday' for nearly wat? 4 months?? and i tell u.. its getting to my head.. i'm going crazy.... see.. here's the thing.. i know i'm leaving soon.. to another place.. far away... ANOTHER COUNTRY.. T.T no parents to go to if anything were to happen.... i'm talking about sickness and so forth.. its gotten to my head.. i get pissed off easily.. moody... due to excessive BOREDOM... did i mention i'm going NUTS!!!?? i usually have control over myself... or i used to.. but.. this time.. sighs.... so i m sorry if i had gotten pissed of for no reason... causin pain to others... etc.. etc.. i hope sum of u understand the load of pressure i'm under.. i guess.. i wasnt prepared for it this time..


so.. over the past months.. i've been reading alot.. on health issues... especially male issues... guys.. u know wat i'm talking about... other than that... current problems within... such as asmath n blood disorders..... I tell u i can be a freegin specialist now... the one person i can always TURN to is HIM.. yea... i'm still greatful though.. because i know there are others out there who are having far worse problems than me... appreciate wat you have.. and take care of it.. u never know how easy it slips away under your own nose... anyways.. i guess when u have nothing to else to worry about.., u start to feel pains u never thought u have... things that normally keep your mind busy like studies.. presentations... girlfriends... money... when they're absent... they make u feel different.. maybe i should have worked.. gotten a job when i had nuts to do.. well.. no time for regret.. i'm hoping for the best.. forever praying... god bless and god protect...


never really was a religous person... but.. yea ..... i dont believe in religion... but i believe in GOD..