just me..

2010-12-30T17:54:00.002+08:00

Im calm and collected... im not angry..
I refuse to inhale the detriments of life.. im happy..
I refuse to be agitated.. im thinking of you..

Thanks for being in my life..

Melbourne... Australia...

2010-12-29T16:57:00.003+08:00

Sitting at the desk, going through a product list of "what Melbourne has to offer!". I scan through the pictures.. And they are pictures of the botanical gardens.. Brighton beach... Southbank.. St kilda.... mount dandenong... Mornington... As it is ... I'm already feeling so depressed that I'm now sitting at a desk from 9 to 6.. My job is now constantly reminding me of what I left behind... .... God I sound like a middle aged man whose wife and kids left me in a faraway place... I'm actually not... Thankfully..

I just can't help having nostalgic flashbacks of only a few weeks ago... I miss it so much... I miss walking around.. Without concerning on sweat.. I miss the beaches... I miss walking in the city... I miss the air... I miss looking at the clear blue sky complimented by the horizons of the ocean... I miss the ice... The people... I can't wait to go back... I really feel like that's home now.. Sighs..

I miss holding hands...

Nice.. Indeed..

2010-12-18T21:54:00.009+08:00

The weather was perfect, sunny yet not hot, temperature was around 20 with a nice breeze to balance the day out.. Seemed like a day destined for park strolls or perhaps even building sandcastles. That day I decided to take a drive to the park, walked for awhile and found a place under a tree. Laid down and closed my eyes, I could feel rays from the sun trying to penetrate through the gaps between the leaves, birds in song in tune with natures orchestra.., and the sound of leaves ruffling in the wind hehe I could have fallen asleep.. True enough, that's what happened.. I thought to myself, hmm nice weather.. Nice weather indeed..

In the car I heard this song being played over and over again.. The tune was eventually embedded Into my head. The thing that really intrigued my thoughts was how a simple tune that complemented simple words left an impression of perfection.. Though the lyrics were kinda cheesy and cliche'd in a way but they say what I usually can't.. During the oddest of times, the song plays on the radio and I'm constantly reminded of what I'm missing.. I thought to myself, hmm nice song.. Nice song indeed..

I went over to get a glass of water and as i turned to the outside, I saw her sitting there, her silhouette perfectly within my view as the sun was setting behind her.. Yet again the rays of the evening sun were trying to penetrate the partially drawn blinds. Her face was barely visible because of the glare at that point.. Funny, how that song was ringing in my head.. I smirked to myself thinking wow.. Quite a view I have.. Hehe i walked on over and approached her byherside, by then I was close enough to see her face clearly.. Every curve, every line.. At this time I realized that I've been looking at her one moment too long, she asked why I'm staring at her.. my answer was always the same.. In fact, I was in admiration.. Admiring her look, her smile.. I thought to myself, nice eyes, nice lips.. nice girl.. Nice girl indeed hehe

Today... I yearn for her presence.. I wanna see those eyes, those curves, those lips...

The simplest and smallest of things can turn your day around sometimes no matter how bad a day can turn.. You just need to start noticing.. Thats something I learned a long time ago.. I'm waiting now..

even the stars in the night die..

2010-10-22T21:31:00.006+08:00

Sitting on the balcony.. the thought of life... my life.. came into mind.. again.. everything that happened in the past 12 months have been so ... bittersweet.. I miss my grandma~ i miss my aunt Kimmy... i know life is unpredictable.. thats the beauty of the world we live in! we can never anticipate what happens in the future.. afterall ... everything happens for a reason no? but why must it happen the way it did? this i cant comprehend... this goes to show how fast life can be taken from right under our noses.. i tend to not show the weaker side of me.. but i hate this so much.. i hate it that im starting to lose the people i hold dearly to me.. im afraid of losing the next one.. it pains... i tell myself everyday.. for the past 12 months, life has to go on.. the world does'nt stop spinning... time doest wait for anyone...

I hope God can continue to grant the strength and will to my dear uncle to move on.. the thought of him losing his wife, his soulmate, his best friend gets me depressed sometimes.. i cant even think about losing any of my friends.. let alone.. someone that has your life centered around.. this sort of predicament should only happen in movies! i wish i could refuse to think of it as part of life... life is beautiful.. life is wonderful.. but i hate this part of life.. i try to think of other things.. keep myself busy, just trying to get my head sorted out.. i try to surround myself with people i care about..... people who make me happy... people i enjoy being around with.. it really helps... and i thank them for it.. i used to complicate thoughts on people.. but now i see a different light.. life is so short.. and we are not so significant.. and, turns out.. its only complicated when u think it is.. truth is.. its much more simple.. time to live.. live life to the fullest.. and make do with whatever time u have with the people u love... talk to them twice as much.. hug them twice as long.. and remind them how important they are in your life..

i appreciate it now..

u are reading this....

2010-10-03T20:03:00.001+08:00

if u are.. ure slacking and not studying!!! shooooh! go and study!

2010-01-27T22:08:00.004+08:00

You are now 35. You wake up, you clean yourself, you make your bed. You pickup your things. You go out the driveway. You go to work from 8 till 5. You come back home raged because you have to go through heavy traffic. You eat a microwave-heated meal, watch TV perhaps for a few hours. You get ready to sleep and the whole process .. repeats itself.. come weekend.. you hope to meet your friends, you hope there are events that may deter yourself from reality. The harshness of the real world. Suddenly out of the blue, you receive an invitation to a party. You attend, you go to your table and you take your sit. You hear a commotion in the background. You glance to the back only to see a rowdy group of youths sitting at a corner, playing cards and drinking hard liquor as if to have not a worry in the world. You look back at your friends. They start to denounce the group of youths. You join in to avoid the awkwardness of not being the silent one. But you are actually thinking, if only. Now you think, I cant drink because I had liver problems; not from drinking but from a hereditary disease; since 25. I can't party because I'm tied down to my 8-10 hour job. Now you think back.. to when you were a youth yourself.. How my life would have been different if I jumped off that plane... tragic.. but you live..

we only live once.. we are only 21 once.. time to live..

2009-09-15T20:28:00.009+08:00

last weekend was awesome, i had a great outing.. went to bars the mainstream crowd would never have thought about at all.. the plan was to go to 21 bars, ended up with only 2 hahah.. but we had a lot to drink and met alot of people.. all in all.. fun!

Never saw the chemistry that was there with you and me
Its been a long time coming

It’s freaking me out, that I didn't see
That you're so damn hot girl, It's just crazy
And without a doubt I still can’t believe
That you were right there in front of me

Never saw the chemistry that was there with you and me
It’s been a long time coming

Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell
I’m falling for you
Just DROPPING out of thin air
You came out of nowhere right out of the blue
When heaven sent you

Night after night, when I didn’t sleep
But that was before you lay beside me
When all of my demons were dancing with me
I’m glad you came down ‘cause I was in too deep

Never saw the chemistry that was there with you and me
It’s been a long time coming

Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell
I’m falling for you
Just DROPPING out of thin air
You came out of nowhere right out of the blue
When heaven sent you

Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell
I’m falling for you
Just DROPPING out of thin air
You came out of nowhere right out of the blue

Just waiting on an angel to take me out of my hell
I’m falling for you
Just DROPPING out of thin air
You came out of nowhere right out of the blue

Right out of the blue
When heaven sent you
Right out of the blue
When heaven sent you

I was just listening to this song by hinder.. and i thought of posting it up.. i just liked a few words.. thats all heheh...

''Sitting beside me, she laughed. I told her then, that she had different smiles to her. The one I loved most was when she smiled and twitched her nose at the same time. That smile was one I was longing to see everyday, it always seemed like a new reason to be there beside her..''

2009-09-10T14:16:00.006+08:00

''I held her. She wondered and I told her that this might be the last time I'll ever hold her again. It turned out to be just that. I can remember this so clearly. To some it may be several years ago, to me it happened yesterday. It always happened yesterday. Its a recurring thought that still haunts me till this day. Today, I barely know her. She died somewhere inside but the silhouette of her face remains, she appears now and again in the distance, in the corner of my eye. I never fail to turn around and assure myself that it is just a ghost.''

Lately, I've found myself prone to outbursts of anger. This is something new for me and I just do not know what triggered this part of me to awake. Perhaps it was a sudden emptiness somewhere that can be blamed but I am learning to vent this part of my persona by indulging myself in vigorous activity. Perhaps, I just can't get over being raged by the acts of a certain few. Whatever it is, I know this is just a phase in my life.

I find it funny, to stress myself over unnecessary things. My head is poisoned with random thoughts of confusion. The thoughts in my head are overlapping each other. I remembered, this used to drive me close to insanity one year. I came to realise, I am most at peace when I am with them, and when I am holding a pencil, sketching.

2009-09-06T21:41:00.004+08:00

i love days like these.. sudden, random, beautiful and especially memorable..

as for whats new so far?

i have achieved what i considered one of my yearly goals this year.. and that is to get my arse to Melbourne... and regrets? no..

the wind blows a new direction.. no way in hell, can i turn back now.. wonderful.. beautiful, glorious.. matchless in every way... i thank you for helping me... bringing me here.. I'm in debt.. u are my king.. my saviour...

its been around 8 weeks now i have been in Melbourne... every moment has been taken in... i wont forget.. i had the best times of my life right here.. and i hope for it to continue.. damn the demons from Sydney... and i hope they wont follow me here..

here's a random thought of the moment... ''u can either be smart.. or seem really desperate and opportunistic to go after someone with money''... i heard that from a passerby telling his female friend.. oh wells..

did i forget to mention.. I'm pessimistic about hopefulness.. hahah there is no such thing as hopefulness when it comes to people... i let it stay in shallow waters.. disappointment is at the end of the tunnel.. for now..

My hell..

2009-04-20T20:47:00.002+08:00

i face two pathways.. i cannot decide which to take..

one, leads to being idle and suffering but better for a cause..

the other..

leads to happiness but a step down from my Haven..

sighs... God can only decide for me.. whether or not.. he lets me..

2009-04-19T12:24:00.002+08:00

i've learnt a new lesson.. actually.. more of a realisation... the friends i knew i had.. were all just a play.. at least i view it like that.. i want to..

i feel like i am trapped.. unable to crawl out.. there is just that barrier infront of me... too tall for me to climb... i want to reach my haven...

that bastard..

get the fuck over it.. u constantly remind me so much of that period.. u pissed me off n ruined everything ...

new things i have discovered about myself.. i hate anime.. i hate mmorpgs...well.. not all.. i hate the idea of sitting infront of a computer all day.. i hate babysitting...(unless of course they're my kids) i hate people who pretend to not want to eat and then later binge on chocolates and sweet snacks..(wtf... these people have a serious case of mental illness not yet discovered).. i finaly can tell when people are lying(serious cases).. and the obvious.. i hate people who act like ''friends'' ..i finaly appreciate the smaller things in life that i have taken for granted..

what i do like now... my own space.. solitude.. cleaning(0.o'') having not to think about #%*@)$()@T^@&)$*) all the time.. son of B**ch!!

1 month plus left.. and i hope.. i can get the hell out...

Can you?

2009-02-28T16:05:00.004+08:00

Ah... since i havent done anything 'proud' yet.. i must as well write down the things i wanna do for this year!!

Things to accomplish before the end of 2009..

1.Academics

1.1 Get great results for my last semester of year 1..
1.2 Proceed to 2nd year with the same rhythm..
1.3 Have to add later!! hahah.. still uncertain in 2nd year.. LOL

2.Be menshealth FIT

2.1 Do a 100 pushups consecutively..
2.2 Do 300 squats consecutively..
2.3 Bench press 300lbs..
2.4 Try to own pull ups..
2.5 Lose 15KGs..
2.5 Achieve less than 10 percent body fat..

3.Dont fuck around with the @(#*%@%@)#(@) RTA..
4.Get FFXIII!!!!! the whole collection ..
5.Get a part time job i am happy with..
6.Be a better person.. (like wtf... i dont know what else to write.. >< haha)

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MORE PICS!!! MAUHAHA

this might sound gay.. but.. this is sooooooooooooooooooo cute!!! man...!!!

talk about interacial..h hahahaha

Merry Christmas,Happy New Year and GXFC!!!!!

2009-01-28T21:47:00.002+08:00

SO a year's passed... exams next week... going back after the exams.. and just have to post these pictures.. coz they are so.. EFFING CUTE!!!!

haa look at this one

this is amazingly CUTE

hahahaha

this one omg!!!

definitly pictures worth posting... btw.. i found this pics on utube.. HILARIOUS..

The Original

2008-11-18T21:29:00.002+08:00

What the hell was I thinking when i typed the previous post? Its rubbish.. don't mind me please.. spur of the moment thing.. kinda like the one and only time where randomness clashes with pure stupidity.. yea yea... i can hear you saying.. ''finally you realise...''

right now.. i'm feeling anxious to get back home.. i have to get away from all that has been happening.. i cant stand the sight of a certain few.. and i cant stand not having my own space.. my only escape is by driving aimlessly around the quiet suburban streets of StrathAVEN, lidCOMbe... and hoMeBush.. i can breath a sigh of relief finally... coming home near midnight... still having to face the devil inside me.. i wish it was simpler.. but know.. reality has to throw it in my face.. now thinking back .. i miss the moments of last year.. the climax of one great story... i learn to appreciate the smaller things.. i dare say that i have learned a few lessons coming to this moment.. my favourite.. the social heirarchy.. yeap... heheh the original feeling was much better i must say..

God have mercy on the souls of the damned...
God save the people of hurt...
God heal me..

a year... in the devils presence..

2008-11-06T18:29:00.007+08:00

anyone? hehe.. this might be the last post of the year.. God knows when I will write anything again.. i just had a sudden urge to write something somewhere no one knows about... besides.. my blog is already probably anonymous.. forgotten..yes...

anyhow.. the review of this year... its like having to play a whole football match with no shin pads.. a game i used to be passionate about... now a game played with lies and deception... i once thought of being whole.. but missing pieces no where to be found.. how i wish someone would appear.. to steal me.. like the stolen child.. I sit here in this chair.. staring at my screen... yes... i'm still thinking.....

the better half of this year belonged to this moment... the 2 quarters i prefer to speak more of than the previous 2.. i stay envious of how complete another is... yet i do nothing to complete me.. yet again i rant rubbish worth forgetting... i hear sounds of disappointment .. i have to forget..

2008-06-11T22:26:00.004+08:00

so anyway.. i stumbbled.. across a post.. that was really irritating... i dont know what the fuss is all about.. this guy is trying to be friendly.. i mean his intention was all ''friends''..... ONLY..... and the girl.. is like.. stop freaking me out... i'm like... wats with the girl?? haha.. its ok dude.. u're living your life perfectly now.. she can take that attitude of hers and go to @*#&@)#... man.. i never knew someone was that sensitive... my eyes open now... haha... i wont care anymore either... friends.. tahthatha...fuck..

so hi everyone... yea.... fuckk.. GOD,... i feel for this guy... i never knew things like this would happen to.. people so close to me..h aha... fuck... i m so pissed for him... literally.... MAN. i need to chill.... now the thought of that post.... man.. FUCK... FUCk... this is probably the only post where i have more then.. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......... hmmm... ok... i understnad.. i understand.. people seems TO HAVE THEIR OWN ISSUES>>.... fuck u... gnight...

things have gotten out of hand..

2008-03-18T21:05:00.002+08:00

ok.. first things first.. i need to apologize.. for the past few months.. I have develop a sense of PARANOIA... i've been on 'holiday' for nearly wat? 4 months?? and i tell u.. its getting to my head.. i'm going crazy.... see.. here's the thing.. i know i'm leaving soon.. to another place.. far away... ANOTHER COUNTRY.. T.T no parents to go to if anything were to happen.... i'm talking about sickness and so forth.. its gotten to my head.. i get pissed off easily.. moody... due to excessive BOREDOM... did i mention i'm going NUTS!!!?? i usually have control over myself... or i used to.. but.. this time.. sighs.... so i m sorry if i had gotten pissed of for no reason... causin pain to others... etc.. etc.. i hope sum of u understand the load of pressure i'm under.. i guess.. i wasnt prepared for it this time..

so.. over the past months.. i've been reading alot.. on health issues... especially male issues... guys.. u know wat i'm talking about... other than that... current problems within... such as asmath n blood disorders..... I tell u i can be a freegin specialist now... the one person i can always TURN to is HIM.. yea... i'm still greatful though.. because i know there are others out there who are having far worse problems than me... appreciate wat you have.. and take care of it.. u never know how easy it slips away under your own nose... anyways.. i guess when u have nothing to else to worry about.., u start to feel pains u never thought u have... things that normally keep your mind busy like studies.. presentations... girlfriends... money... when they're absent... they make u feel different.. maybe i should have worked.. gotten a job when i had nuts to do.. well.. no time for regret.. i'm hoping for the best.. forever praying... god bless and god protect...

never really was a religous person... but.. yea ..... i dont believe in religion... but i believe in GOD..

an idle mind.. is the devils playground..

2008-03-07T11:40:00.004+08:00

''ahhh.... I am speechless... truly I am.. i have lost count with the times you have put me in situations like this.. I'm being played aren't I..''

i recently stumbled across a piece of material that has left me flabbergasted.. Is it my fate to be like this... the many strings u have tied me with... complicated as it is yet you can connect all of them together with such ease.. i dont understand... you left me in a place.. gave me 'toys'.. and guidance.. and yet you take them away.. i'm confused.. this is turning out to be a rather disturbing plot in a movie eh? how long can you put me through this... i pray...

i know now.. i have no ''obligations'' left.. I lay here without motive.. I lay here weak... without hope that they may listen.. or even care.. I am battered.. the days gone by.. i've not realised how much more clearer things have become... thinking back on times you have intervened.. I laugh... yet again... you put 'oppurtunity' right infront of me.. tempting me every second.. I think about what it is you might actually want to tell me.. is there a message?.. I took it.. and how it blew up in my face.. now the present.. i stand out around the vicinity.. watching every move.. and i see how YOU paint your masterpiece with what I could have been..

but i'm forever grateful.. a blessing i have now... non shall take away..

and now I sit here.. thinking of words to type... the thoughts that run through my mind are making me feel sick..

2008-01-14T21:02:00.000+08:00

Hello to 2008,

1 month since i last updated.. i'm proud actualy.. where do i start?

Ok... i got the results.. i'm leavin.. yeap...

next... i'm remainin ever so quiet... ;)

like wat zili said.. 'z.. remain silent..' ;) haha

I've got so much to say.. but .. how do I string the proper words? hm..

2007-12-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

another year going by.. tsk... like it was yesterday it just turned 2007.. well .. the topping on the cake is yet to arrive.. yea.. results.. i went to the ssabssa website... 20th December the results were released last year.. i m thinking maybe it might be for this year too... who knows? nontheless... i guess we will eventually find out... i still whisper a silent prayer..

another late post eh?? well.. what can i do? i only like bloggin when my thoughts are needed to be put somewhere.. seems all my friends are leaving .. so no one to tell?? oh ho... dont get the wrong idea.. u forget.. my definition of friend is narrow after all...

i feel kinda guilty lately... i have been off.. sighs... actually.. i have got nothin much to talk about.. i m just updating this piece of.. yea... hehe.. will continue thinkin..

2007-10-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

its that moment isnt it.. where everyone starts thinking... their thoughts up there screwing around with their hearts.. and emotions begin to start colliding.. sighs

this is my extended 2 cents worth...

I can still rememeber the day me, marv n sai beng stepped into the premises of the college.. we went to student services to inquire about the course we were about to enrol ourselves in.. Taylors Business Foundation.. yea.. i was about to take that step.. but this person we were talkin to talked us out of it... we enroled in SAM instead...

so then the first week we were in this class k2 wassit? haha... there is where we met SUTESH!! yeap.. he was friendly.. really.... but we couldnt stand the sight of the IT-ness of the subject.. and thus we left to venture in to the sad realm of Legals... thats where with a little persuasion i managed to drag JOEZ along and thats when we all went in to L1.. At first i didnt not think much... my first thoughts that went through my mind were nothing more than what i always percieved at first... i'm glad that perception is far from right.. some people i have met this year... have just made me change my whole view on people... how they act and react to different responses..and funny it is that some responses have been for pure pleasure and entertainment.. to my own personal views at least... its been awesome to how they managed to put up with my constant pestering and rubbish over the course of this 10 months.. seems some have proved me wrong... there are those who are different out there...

i'm glad..

I always had this thought in my head.. that always bugged me everytime i meet new people... time was never on my side.. i m sure to most of us... one year was definitly a time TOO little.. this especialy happens to me all the time.. I'm used to it.. but for some reason... i find it really disturbing to think that we only have a few days left... and to think that all of you will only be more than mere memories after a decade is really heartbreaking... on my part.. i'm definitly gonna try (at least this time) to keep in contact with those who've received a ''a tear from heaven''...

props out and many shouts to a few... Colin... Crystal... Jean... Jeen.. King... Carlye... Del... just to name a few.... thanks to you guys.. i have always found a reason to even think about goin to college.. This whole year has definitly been an up n down process for me.. its been a great experience.. my thoughts of you all will definitly linger in my mind for many years to come.. as all of you have lit up my college life..

(trying my best to be cheesey, corney, n watever u may call it.. haha.. sighs)

2007-10-17T15:49:00.000+08:00

after a few brief moments with a friend.. after our conversation.. sighs.. I thought back.. and i just...

i realised.. u won't really know wat u had till u know its really gone.. i hate it when that statement became true... blegh... its annoying.. there is barely a month left and it'll be over.. this experience in SAM has been a whirlwind.. how else could i describe it?? so many great times.. so many sucky ones too.. sighs... no regrets though.. no regrets changin to L1.. no regrets taking SAM.. none..

ahh.. its just so... i dont even know what to say.. no ideas coming in ... to describe... sighs.. I remember ... I was always asked this question... if u could travel back in time... what would U do..?? that answer was always the same.. then again... what doesnt kill u really makes u stronger eh??i guess .. i just gotta live on that from now..

there I go again.. with the sighs.. who am i kiddin...

slander

2007-10-01T20:51:00.000+08:00

ah... I've not woken up from bed feeling this relieved after a week of exams...

yeap.. that's probably whats freegin me out now.. its gonna be a repeat of that looooong moment of abscence from ed like after spm isnt it?? except it wont be 2 months?? 8 months to be precise.. ugh...

u know.. its kinda... not me.. to be bloggin.. but .. i heard from a friend.. after so long.. y do u care about what people think? .. it kinda relates..

point is..

well.. the truth is.. i dont.. n i do.. contradicting isnt it.. but yea.. its just.. i used to not care.. but when the people i care 4.. are falling to lies.. i start to get annoyed.. yes... annoyed.. not depressed.. coz... it really shows.. what I really mean to them... as an individual to be judged from utter nonsense.. words coming out from the mouths of the people who are non existent to me.. enough..??? i wont want to continue.... lets see how long this goes on.. heheh

anyways.. was goin through some old stuff.. and this is waht i found.. i find this amusing.. my dad said.. ''ask u to produce work.. instead crap.. '' hahaha.. the nerve the teacher asked me to REDO.. hmmph... i remmeber writing alot of crap in the past.. even now.. !! lol

isnt it annoying sumtimes..

2007-09-21T18:49:00.000+08:00

how do I need to start the first sentence of todays expressive outburst?hmm.. I question myself sometimes to why people never bother to even move a hair when they know moving the whole pathetic package benefits everyone else..

What has the world evolved into?

Has anyone any dignity or ego?

what happened 'conscience'?

or

better yet Alter EGo?

I recently over heard a conversation I wish i had not heard.. One was telling the other.. or rather bragging.. about what properties he claims he has which doesnot even belong to him... listening to those few sad lines practically shows how ______(i have no words in mind to describe this.. it makes my skin crawl..) he is.. then again.. what can u expect from the youngest of a 'rich family'? Spoilt... Mind.. his family must be rich in the bank accounts.. but are they rich up there in their small heads? for how can a father pollute and spoil his son like this? To him.. i wont even bother praying for you... i just hope u get whats coming to u.. and since u like saying this to me.. 'grow up' .. i just hope u realise.. what an idiot you really are... I rarely swear..hehe.. so i guess anyone can sense the seriousness in this.. I mean.. I consider myself a very patient person.. but i have my limits.. everyone has.. I ran out of fuel..

sighs..

its just embaressing that the more rubbish that spills out from his ugly mouth actually makes me fill like an idiot to be acquainted to him.. for the love of ____ n _____.. ugh.. i'm disgusted..

I hope people out there actually realise my point here and get it in their hollow empty heads..

2007-09-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. i think i have been absent long enough to ensure.. that my posts arent being read for awhile.. i guess.. if anyone reads this.. it would be after a month? haha..

''joy.. sorrow.. despair.. hate.. anger... love.. happiness.. a huge part of me died that day..i shall no longer trust myself.., '' -mind-

well.. i have cease( did i say this right?haha) to exist in the digital matrix n what-not of the blog world now adays.. anyone can see that.. to those who have linked me.. now isnt that great.. i've been keeping a secret... one for so long.. and i sit there looking at everyone who thinks ____ much.. fill that blank for me.. whatever u want.. ^^ for anything i say further.. all i do is spit.. then again.. since i will express my feelings here.. i wont intend to go on with all that 'i dont care what u think just leave if u dunt wanna read' rubbish so.. the guy I am several years ago n now.. indeed has not changed.. i have no reason to lie.. before anyone says .. ''hey asshole.. u did change..'' think about it.. u only look at me in a different way now..

some of my pschology friends have clarified with me enough.. and i dare say now.. that i no longer need to worry even more for those who have contrasting opinions.. sighs.. well... lets move to the expression of the night..

its been what? 9 months into 2007.. i've awaken finaly.. after being dumb-i-fied.. haha.. never accured to me that i would let my guard down again.. its hilarious when i think about it.. what a fool i was.. i guess everything my 'friends' said was true.. i lost control.. i know doing the right things were the great thing to do.. somehow.. right things never do seem right do they.. like.. how i used to say.. its funny how 'HE' likes to play with our fates.. sometimes.. u dont always have to think that it happened because it was meant to be.. there is always a reason to everything.. in fact there is always 2 sides to everything.. we do have to evaluate this from different perspectives just to know.. one single detail.. the real reason for doing the 'right' thing.. i blame myself.. i blame me..

i do hope people understand what i'm trying to say haha..

that was point number 1.. number 2... the usual.. complaints on my peers... i dont wanna pollute the cyber world further with your names.. so i shall just tell my own thoughts about 'it'..
i come to realize.. some people that have been close to u.. can even be just another 'one'.. another useless dissapointment filled with empty promises and lost hope.. yet again.. i have to let one go of the 'think highly list' now there is a handful left of these people..

even the new people i meet.. i can entrust them with the secrecy i have then to those i have known for decades... it makes me tear to just know this f**ked world is filled with delinquants.. those who cant even follow a simple rule to not abide the sins.. tsktsk..

for one day.. dont u wish u could just let it all out.. and think.. no ones looking? ahh.. dreams..

funny.. just the words of an individual can cause 'havoc' .. sumtimes i really wish i do owned a rifle to blow these people of this wretched( must really start learning spelling again hmm) land.. ah.. but anger does do this to u.. to act without the benefit of intelect.. our minds do play games with our hearts.. that would eventually lead us to doin things we think is right.. only to end up looking like a fool.. i guess.. my conquest is still on... to find more people.. i can put on my hopefuls list.. goodluck to me eh? haha

2007-07-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

i've not felt like there was worth anything to be expressed.. but for the past few months.. i've been one hell of a wreck.. what the f(*&^(& is wrong with me.. you know how pathetic it is to look at myself in the mirror looking all busted up??

i can only say... all the hurt n pain... i brought it down to my ownself.. i'm a dick to my ownself.. i should have been... sighs..

2007-06-10T16:13:00.000+08:00

life.. as it is.. got gray, dull and boring again.. for now.. save me.. sighs

2007-06-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

THE 7 SinS & Virtues

Lust (Latin, luxuria)

Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, adultery, bestiality, and rape.

Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts.

Gluttony (Latin, gula)

Modern views identify Gluttony with an overindulgence of food and drink, though in the past any form of thoughtless excess could fall within the definition of this sin. Marked by unreasonable or unnecessary excess of consumption, Gluttony could also include certain forms of destructive behavior, especially for sport, or for its own sake. Substance abuse or binge drinking can be seen as examples of gluttony therefore, so it could be safely said that Gluttony is the overindulgence in any one thing. The penitents in the Purgatorio were forced to stand between two trees, unable to reach or eat the fruit hanging from either, and were thus described as having a starved appearance.

Greed (Latin, avaritia)

Greed is, like Lust and Gluttony, a sin of excess. However, Greed (as seen by the Church) applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular. Thomas Aquinas wrote that Greed was "a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts. "Avarice" is more of a blanket term that can describe many other examples of sinful behavior. These include disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason, especially for personal gain, for example through bribery. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed. Such misdeeds can include Simony, where one profits from soliciting goods within the actual confines of a church.

Sloth (Latin, acedia)

More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among the seven deadly sins. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the latter being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Originally, its place was fulfilled by two other aspects, Acedia and Sadness. The former described a spiritual apathy that affected the faithful by discouraging them from their religious work. Sadness (tristitia in Latin) described a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, which caused unhappiness with one's current situation. When St. Thomas Aquinas selected Acedia for his list, he described it as an "uneasiness of the mind," being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing Sloth as being the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul." He also described it as the middle sin, and as such was the only sin characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love. In his Purgatorio, the slothful penitents were made to run continuously at top speed.

The modern view of the vice, as highlighted by its contrary virtue zeal/diligence, is that it represents the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. For example, a student who does not work beyond what is required (and thus fails to achieve his or her full potential) could be labelled 'slothful'.

Current interpretations are therefore much less stringent and comprehensive than they were in medieval times, and portray Sloth as being more simply a sin of laziness, of an unwillingness to act, an unwillingness to care (rather than a failure to love God and His works). For this reason Sloth is now often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins.

Wrath (Latin, ira)> yea.. i shall not be angry.. no way.. no matter how far any of u would go.. i wont get angry.. i understand..

Wrath may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism), fanatical political beliefs, and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others. The transgressions borne of Wrath are among the most serious, including murder, assault, and in extreme cases, genocide. (See Crimes against humanity.) Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy). Dante described Wrath as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". The wrathful in his Purgatorio were enveloped in blinding smoke.

Envy (Latin, invidia)> yeap... lucky for some of us.. we are not so kiasu.. there are plenty of a-holes out there.. they have sinned.. hopefully god may have mercy on their souls.. sound so ^(&^(&*%R%$#%^ but then.. my op wert.. heheh

Like Greed, Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons: First, Greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas Envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of Envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking. Dante defined this as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought lowly.

Pride (Latin, superbia)>full respect for this one.. everyone is going to hell because they have sinned.. haha.. there are too many people who really are like what it is stated below.. i hope people actually read this..though..highly unlikely..

In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbor." In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the famed Doctor of Paris, Cenodoxus. In perhaps the most famous example, the story of Lucifer, Pride was what caused his Fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan. Vanity and Narcissism are prime examples of this Sin. In the Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs in order to induce feelings of humility.

7 virtues~!!!!

Chastity (Latin, castitas) (purity, opposes lust, Latin luxuria) —
Courage and boldness. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.

Abstinence (Latin, frenum) (self-control, opposes gluttony, Latin gula) —
Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.

Liberality (Latin, liberalitas) (will, generosity, opposes greed, Latin avaritia) —
Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.

Diligence (Latin, industria) (ethics, opposes sloth, Latin acedia) —
A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic. Budgeting one's time; monitoring one's own activities to guard against laziness.

Patience (Latin, patientia) (peace, opposes wrath, Latin ira) I dare say I am a very patient person.. i've endured alot expecially in k2 last year right jia ren??? hmmph.. there should be more people like this.. not him but me.. buahahhahahha... lately though.. i've lost my patience.. somehow or rather... i'm gonna work it out.. .. —
Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. The ability to forgive; to show mercy to sinners.

Kindness (Latin, humanitas) (satisfaction, opposes envy, Latin invidia) —
Charity, compassion, friendship, and sympathy without prejudice and for its own sake.

Humility (Latin, humilitas) (modesty, opposes pride, Latin superbia) > no.. lately.. i'be been quite ego.. hahah... sorry sorry.. then again.. whoever is ''humilitas''..too many &*%^*%*^&* out there sighs.. —
Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self.

i'm not a christian.. but... reading this.. has made it clear to me..

2007-06-06T19:49:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry..

i'll make up for all my mistakes i've done..

i promise..

2007-06-05T11:16:00.000+08:00

so far.. the holidays.. has had its ups and downs.. then again.. everything about me is up or down anyways.. ugh.. i had some of the best times of my life.. and the worse all in the space of 9 days.. embarrassing.. i am sorry for those of u who had to experience any..

yea so anyway.. this 2-week-only holiday.. is kinda slow moving.. yet.. fast.. 0.o ahh..

''...i love...''

2007-06-02T07:23:00.000+08:00

ugh... guess wat time i woke up?? 7.10am.. i figured if i woke up at 3.. n slept later.. i'd wake upa lil later.. but then.. i still woke up the same time.. sighs... i guess i'lll just live with it..

^^

2007-05-31T14:55:00.000+08:00

HELOOOOOO!!! I AM RETARDED!!! =D

2007-05-27T22:11:00.000+08:00

the start of a (and i m sure) a bitter sweet 2 week holiday.. back to holidays again.. now aint that great?? i'm sure lots are saying HOORA HOORA~!!! hahah.. yawn.. it might pass by in a jeef.. but to me.. its gonna be like .. a really loooooooooooong time.. 2 weeks.. seems shorter than 4 weeks.. why ah??

anyone heard of maroon 5's Cant Stop?? hahaha.. ''....making love with my pillow....'' 0.o

Watched POC3 yesterday.. entertaining yet alil boring at times.. maybe.. OMG I"M LISTENING TO THAT SONG - infatuation.. hahahahah.. ok anyways.... yea.. i'm going to court tomorrow... ^^

i know i know i know.. think watever u want babe.. heheheh.. i wont care anymore too..

2007-05-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

Why do people try
why do people care
How can they tell who's who
with all the masks

No one tells the truth
But no one is quite lying
some are left behind
Alone..Sick .. and Dying

Some connive and cheat
Some lie and steal
Others are honest and sweet
And others hardly real

Yet we will all march on
Into a future unknown
Some will be left behind
Dying..Sick.. and Alone

..i so happen.. came across this.. after reading many.. i'm just happy i found this.. i'm just sad that i cant express this in better form.. or can i.. ? hehe..

readin this again.. hahah.. i can feel angry.. yet.. sad.. ahh... hahah..sighs.. oh well.. i end today.. with ..

2007-05-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

''I shall return into silence, sorrow and despair..
counting the tears..
every drop..
a part of my sanity is taken away..
cometh the hour where i shall no longer...''

tiring.. simply tiring.. i'm tired.. so so tired.. ok i'll shut up about the tiring thing.. futsal la.. cant blame me right? sri KL arent that hard to beat after all.. we were just unprepared.. hah.. oh well...

2007-05-21T18:06:00.000+08:00

u know.. most of the time when i choose to update this thing.. its normally when i'm angry or depress about sumthing.. but then again.. i dont post everything.. on the blog.. ;) this time i'm happy.. i know on the 11th of June.. when i receive ma exams papers its not gonna be that great.. i'm just waiting for a knife to come through... ugh.. screw maths.. i have to buck up next term.. legals?? f*** that.. i'll definitly read like hell starting next term.. i promise..

i'm happy today.. i just seem to dont have any problems... haha.. besides my subjects which are going downhill.. somehow or rather.. i'll know i'll be able to save myself.. i'm so sure of it..

tomorrow is english... thurs is accounts.. n fri is er.. er.. econs.. SCREW THIS 2 SUBS man... i'm like taking 4 of my most not interested subs.. blegh.. if only there was a course offering.. er.. Drawing.. Econs ok la.. important for the future.. English.. everyone needs it man.. haha...Biz Math? but not so diff la.. b!tch.. n n n n .. er.. FREE PERIOD!!! ah.. that'll be heaven in college man..

MY AIRCOND still blows out hot air... shyt.. haihz.. hot la.. .

<3<3 <3 <3
<3 <3<3 <3 <3
<3 <3 <3 <3
<3<3 <3 <3 <3

its just so nice to see u so pitiful.. its just cute la wei.. ;) i know u're reading this. . buahah

2007-05-12T12:34:00.000+08:00

This is getting annoying.. i've lost count of the days... yes.. i'm still without a proper Internet connection.. i hate (hate is a strong word.. i'm USING it.. ) to use this computer.. without the proper comfort and privacy of my own room.. he hasnt come back since that 'beautiful' day.. haha.. nearly a month now.. god..

anyway.. this years birthday can indeed beat last years..

sorry to know that u were just an act..

had the best one so far.. yet again he wasnt there... ah.. great AND memorable eh..

2 weeks later.. i'm sittin here.. trying to figure out half of what's coming out for the accounts assignment.. then i started thinking again.. they're really annoying~ i've been reading peoples blogs.. i've been talking to people.. alot of people... i just cant get it, why they think and talk like this.. what happened to modesty? where is all the humble-ness gone too?? hehehe.. i think to myself.. at least... i'm not associated with them.. thats a good thing.. duh..

enough of my pointless crap?? yea.. i guess so too.. my chest hurts.. it does.. pain killers mmmmmmm..... strudles... mmmmmm.... i hope everyone i love is exactly what i hope and expect .. and not like the 'others'.. that'll be so sad if it were true.. another reason for me to laugh ..

just realised.. i've not updated since the 19th.. cant blame me eh?? typing with the psp is like asking me to push a car up a hill...

for how long can the dog put up with the masters abuse before it eventually bites back?.. at least the skies my limit when it comes to patience.. abit of exaggeration .. but nearly there.. ;)

2007-04-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

just to blog i have to use another computer.. blegh.. when is my computer ever gonna get fixed.. but then again.. i never know who ever reads my blog.. buahah.. least i can say stuff.. and the long intervals where i dont update keeps them away even longer.. oh well.. sighs..

the past few weeks has been rather hectic .. nearly every other week there is common tests.. n i just sat for my legal common test 3 yesterday.. the guys were like... ''foo, highest again ar''.. so freegin sarcastic... shyt.. well i guess now it's easy to beat me now.. T,T i screwed up my essay.. (@*)E$(@)%R)_!!!!!!!

i'm just gonna go...

i've got secrets to tell you..

2007-04-09T19:57:00.000+08:00

Tis is nuts... i'm using ma psp to blog... haha.. no computer 4 a week ady... and u know how long it takes just to type till here? hell man...

sometimes.. do you ever feel so happy but at the same time feel like dying because u know That happiness...wont b 4Long??yea..of course.. what a stupid Q..

but..i feel like that everytime..

why..i can only blame myself 4 being a wimp!

sighs.. i had a great weekend.. thanks..

2007-04-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

its been constantly raining... rain... rain .. rain.. tears... remember? haha.. guess i should just shut up right.. aiiigh..

i hate presentations.. why do i get so nervous infront of my own social-lites.. this is just so not me.. arent i always confident and brave around ma own peers? shyt... !! blegh..

things i just have to do or achieve b4 going to Australia..
-get a good enough TER .. or not i have to stay here for another damn year.. (@#*@@!!
-save enough money for a PS3
-workout more!! must get nicer body uhum~uhum~* no one knows how difficult it is to get a bulging 6 pack... haha 8 pack? so 300-ish..
-b4 i go .. i must _______________________________________________(secret)
-be less cowardice...

damn econs.. i shouldnt have bullshyt so much.. and i shouldnt have said.. ''ahhhh lazy la.. probably get full marks''... belgh.... at least i proved my point.. may they feel fear as the wrath of ... ME ... is upon them... but i cant seem to really score for my quantitative subjects.. T,T i'm still sturggling for Acc and as for maths.. i'm a bit lost.. SZ, how are you gonna pull this one off this time.. sighs..

goodluck charms do exist.. thanks..

inspiration..? yea...

i just hope i dont repeat the same mistakes i did last time.. man.. why did i drag myself into this mess.. sighs.. i have faith in You.. don't make this a mess.. please??

2007-03-30T21:28:00.000+08:00

the 1st out of 3 hectics weeks is over.. i've finally completed the draft... and survived the agony of economics test.. now its just the result of the two gulp.. the draft was rushed.. haha. economics.. i had a little more luck thanks to u. kaka.. if i pass it.. its proven, u r my goodluck charm ;)

as for wats ahead for the next 2 weeks?? i have to go to coll tmr.. damn.. legal replacement classes. 3hours long.. lucky for me i have done all my source searching.. hehe then i'll have to prepare a presentation for law.. and then read up more on pandas... wednesdays the dateline where i have to start yapping about pandas to mrs banu.. >,< and the 3rd week i have accounts asignment and legal essay again.. f(@#*($@K!!!!! T,T the 4th week is unknown.. but everyday that passes by.. brings a day closer to the misery of MID-TERM EXAM!! DUM DUM DUM~~~gulp~**!!

ma latest addiction now is POOOOOL!!!!! i cant believe it.. i hated pool SOOO much.. i should have started earlier blegh.. the only thing i find annoying is the cigg smoke that is always around pool tables.. why leh? i'm gonna die early .... T,T

2007-03-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

this is gonna be an interesting week.. i went for IFF today.. i'm not going again next year.. its so hot.. i was pouring.. ugh.. n the crowd was not as crazy but still annoying.. i saw sum1 today.. haha.. so ignorant.. ehleh.. kekeke.. IFF is just boring now.. 4 bucks for a small mouthful of coconut water isnt really a great bargain eh?

damn must start notetakin n wrting the draft for ESL .. n there is economics common test2 on tuesday.. ugh.. hell la..

watelse.. hmm...

ai qing xuan ya damn addictive man.. haha been listening to it constantly.. even after all these years... hehe..

2007-03-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

I AM SO HAPPY!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!

i was so pissed this morning.. but then .. in turned the other way.. phew.. holidays endin again.. loads to do.. have to prepare so much.. ahh.. but then .. i feel.. like time is moving so SLOOOW!! blegh... 300 was a really cool movie... kinda like watching a bodybuildin show.. every character has boobs.. and i do mean BOOBS.. buahaha for the straight n the bent.. lol

my arms better.. blasted jr.. yea.. i got hit by a baseball bat.. wtf.. hmmph.. and those wonderin.. there was a thunderstorm just now.. so i got cut off.. hahah... my sad sad luck eh..
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
thinking back.. its funny... dont u think? ah.. u're so blurrr... noob.. hahaha meeting a person like u is as rare as seeing a perfect thursday sunrise.. l

like a shooting star.. the beauty and marvel only lasts for a moment.. i hope that moment wont go though..

i just hope... u're not like everyone else.. sighs..

thanks..

2007-03-13T08:15:00.000+08:00

waking up this early on a holiday is unhealthy.. how am I supposed to Sleep.. blegh..

SPM results came out... how could i only get 4As? how could i only get a 3 for both economics n commerce?.. this is unfair.. UNFAIR.. send for remarking? ah.. doesn't matter anyways.. i only have myself to compare grades.. and besides.. i can stay in college.. good enough for me.. new checklist for this week..
1.ESL - Issue Analysis (Pandas)
2.ESL - Specific Outline (finish my questionnaire)
3.Econs - question 3 (microsoft oligopoly comparison)
4.Legal - Summary of article (dunning sex trial)
5.Legal - Choose a freegin question from past year papers n present in class
and i dont even want to mention the stack of hw i have.. fark..!

the end is nearing..

i know whats been bothering me now.. so u know.. hehe

2007-03-07T17:23:00.000+08:00

ok.. lets see.. today fucked up..

''and the highest is Sze Zhan'' ... -.-'' wtf.. highest n my name nver go together.. thats what everyone thinks anyway.. that asshole behind there mumbling.. ''so what if he got highest''.. i'm just trying to be modest.. haha.. seriously.. haihz.. this is my first achievement for a long time actualy.. ^^ i thought nothing could spoil this moment of glory.. n then.. just when i thought i could trust him... what happened? yea.. this is so DEJAVU!!!! i m not going down that fucked up road again.. go ahead .. do whatever u want.. i should never have done anything in the first place.. seems i've betrayed myself again..

''..as if she cares..'' fck u.. i dont give a shyt about what the hell u have to say about her.. but then again.. i have to wonder..
there i go again.. spilling out random things..

right.. ugh.. lazy.. bored.. tired.. need to do a couple things.... hmmm
1.Specific outline
2.English issue analysis
3.Economics presentation
4.Interview drug rehab personal
5.Law brainstormin-summary

gotta complete everything b4 holiday..

i have to confess.. i'm addicted.. though its bad for me... i just cant help it..

2007-03-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

where to start? no no.. there is no topic sentence here.. like i said before, i'm gonna randomly express my garbage here.. hehe.. for the couple of weeks.. college has all been but a rocky hill.. i dont know whether i should be happy or depressed... i can so clearly tell whats coming already.. sighs... but then.. its been a brilliant couple of weeks .. contradictin? hmm hard to explain la.. but.. blgh.. u knwo right.. ah nvrm...

ok if u dont like cars.. dont read the rest of this post.. u'll just be piss bored.. ;)

oooh... that day.. i was at the car-shop-thing(=.='') with my dad.. i saw an RX8, Sylvias and a fairlady.. there are obviously more cars la.. but not gonna mention the irrelevant ones.. buahah.. when u go to a shop like that.. u can see families walking around.. the young punks, biasala will go circle the sporties like vultures, the dads will keep one eye on the sporties n the other on a... yes.. 4WD-USER-FRIENDLY-FAMILY-CAR that the moms have been pesterin to get all weekend.. anyways... it is a used car shop.. but these cars have been overhauled n serviced.. n every car has a story... woah woah getttin dramatic eh.. haha.. most of the cars there, though 2nd hand, is still in mint condition.. accordin to the salesman, the 350z's owner got bored after a couple months drivin.. well. we're guys.. and the last 350 was still sitting there..at a pr of 188,000... the original should not be more then 340k? ah.. i'll just get to the point.. i test drove the fairlady.. at first, the engine wasnt as expected.. but when i stepped on the accelrator.. letes just say.. u have to experience it for yourself.. definitly more pwr then the rx8 handsdown.. but the skyline will still beat a 350 .. dependin on the specs?? ooh well.. wat do i know.. i was just told..

2007-02-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

pffft.. i'm gonna try not to be so negative this time.. eventhough my blog IS only when i express what needs to BE expressed... sighs... so.. i shall turn to a brighter side.. o.0..

couple of weeks has passed since i last .. .. .. bla bla.. there is just nothing to 'express about'.. there is this one thing though.. having to write an essay which is like 700 words or more.. and finding it all wrong.. just because i had no topic sentece and a proper thesis statement.. ha..ha..haha.. haihz.. an awful week of exams have passed.. loads of shyt to be and already printed .. i had to skip a couple of classes too ... God forgive.. lets see.. i flunk math.. i flunk ACC~!! no surprises there.. econs was aiight.. but not a good enough result for me.. as for LAW.. i passed the first hurdle.. its really crap i'd say... 1 QUESTION.. which consists of 3 MARKS.. first thing that comes to anyone's mind?? 3 POINTS!?!?! simple right??? noooooooooooooo.. 3 M= 6 or more PTS... its like a freegin essay Q... blegh... and the fun part hasnt come yet.. ESSAY~!! ^^.. essays are like sooo.. its really really ..blegh.. i appreciate SPM now.. eh.. about SPM.. results are due after next week.. OH BOI OH BOI~!! i wonder how many C's n D's i got.. God please let there be a few As.. T,T

have u ever met sum1.. so.. so.. s.. FAT n DISGUSTING in your life that u just wanna.. SHUT UP.. i'm not sayin anything.. another pointless random thought to fill up sum space... wasting your time right?? but look at the bright side?? i rarely update .. and and.. u r reading this.. kakkakakakaka...

ok.. i'm currently REALLY BORED.. so like .. can ANY1.. sign up for www.facebook.com?? please~!!!?!!?!?! its like friendster.. but more complicating.. i think.. well.. i'm simple-minded o.O..

list of new socialites.. that might not remmebered.. ahh.. college relationships.. would they lastlong?? i'll have to find out in 10 months time now... i dunno y i'm writin this down... but hey.. least i can test my memory and their names.. feel free to NOT read.. anyone bored?? go to www.bored.com. yes... i m that bored that i just had to try and type bored.com and see what happens.. haaha

1. Sim Wee Jeen - First person i noticed in class.. becoz.. he has a really 'familiar' nose.. haha. n his hair is so effin long.. grr...
2.Wong Hee King - NOT your everyday typical LALA.. might have the most blegh.. hair but has the 'greatest' heart...
3.Crystal Gan - i only noticed her coz she really resembles Kwon Sang Woo in one way la.. but she is much more prettier.. KSW is just.. GORGEUOS~!!!! 'i'm not gay' thanks.. AND she seems to be a real .. EyE pOpPeR to most of the guys in college..
4.FOO Wei Jean - OMG ..!!! ANOTHER FOO!!! SHE IS THE ONLY FOO i know which has nothing to do with the fam.. isnt that great? haha.. has really straight long hair.. n she's cool/nice/friendly... hahah
5.Delwyn.. er... something.. haha..sorry.. i only knew her when beng was telling me..''WAH DELWYN'' haha.. i dunno... i guess .. she's .. hot?? haha..accoriding to him
6.Colin Choo... his such a GENIOUS... at first u get that impression where his just 1 lazy.. buahaha... with that cute face.. serious he looks like some hamster..haha..can play futsal too... lol..but kinda 'petite' buahah
7.Shahidin - his from Bangladesh.. i cant say much about him .. hahah.. secret..
8.Shu Xian - she's TALL MAN.. like 174 cm.. and she doesnt have a bad physique.. winkwink~*
9.Hee Mong - SEXY VOICE.. hahah.. all the girls say that..
and.. ah... lazy go on with the rest.. another day.. ;)

2007-02-04T18:17:00.000+08:00

ah.. back again to the dissappointments.. is there ever gonna be an end.. i doubt so.. right?? its everlasting.. sighs... i tell myself everyday.. dont expect much.. dont have high hopes.. dont get to excited yet.. ''dont let your heart take over your mind''.. how the hell do u do that?? so sickining.. the feeling.. when u get your heartbroken.. i knew it was coming.. its like a movie u watched over n over again.. u know whats coming.. but .. u always have that feeling after the shocks passed... what am i ever supposed to do when the BIG GUY is playing with my mind all the time. especially when i am asleep.. blegh... no topic sentence eh... hahaha.. just a random thought...

2007-01-11T19:54:00.000+08:00

holy shit.. my internet connection seems fine again!!! blogger finally loaded.. thank goodness .. phew.. you know how long i've been trying to get logged in to any god damn site.. rite.. so.. wat has happened to me over the past couple of weeks .. i'm in taylors.. as u all know.. the great thing is.. i'm in a class.. my classsmates are.. joe zer, li wen, beng, marv aka rain, khai chean, eng yeou.. we 'recruited' 2 new guys buahah... wei jean n hee king i think.. they're spelt like that.. nyways.. they're both really cool dudes.. wei jean is like this really popular humble dude from smkDj.. how cool a school name is that???? can u imagine.. hi i'm from SSG.. (gardeners T,T).. n his like i'm from smkDj... (DJ MAN!!!) aha.. hee king.. hmmm.. his this really.. lala guy.. but at the same time.. not one.. its like.. his not a lala.. his just a really cool smart dude.. with a lala hairstyle..

they say that.. in college.. you'll meet alot of new people.. well.. i did not meet ALOT of them.. but i hell do see ALOT of them.. can u imagine ... cramming yourself in a building.. with over 5000 people or more.. thats nuts man.. >.< the great thing.. well.. first of all.. i get to drive there!!!! the 2nd thing.. my class is great.. great environment.. great people.. no snobish mofos.. hehe.. the food.. omg.. dont let me start talking about the food.. its like.. a couple of bucks more expensive then shyt ssgs canteen.. but .. ALL SORTS OF FOOD !!! jap, taiwan, chinese, malay.. all sorts of food.. we have a burger king , mcd n starbucks opposite.. sweeeet!!! surrounded by bookshops, restaurants n cafes!! luxury!! buahah.. the chicks!! they are all HOOOT but ssg girls.. aiyah.. got more looks eh.. winks~* .. kekeke.. the guys.. neh.. not worth my time.. haha...

lessons start at 8.. each lesson finishes in 45 minutes... which is quite short.. n passes by very fast.. so its GREAT... our lunch break is 1 hour plus.. brilliant!!! 5 lessons a day.. yes.. u heard me 5!!! not like stinkin SSG.. 7-8 lessons.. MOFo.. hmmmmph.. and if anyone sees me in ssg.. get used to it... i have to go get my sis.. n see old friends.. ;)

2007-01-03T21:25:00.001+08:00

It is the new year, 2007.. shout out to everyone I know.. happy new year.. for those whom I've not wished.. don't take it personal.. lol.. anyways� a lot happened over the passed few days since .. I last updated..

Ok.. the first thing I have got to tell you guys.. the barbeque ''party'' at ken hings place.. don't take it personal dude, but I have honestly got to say.. it wasn't very .. party-ish.. me and joe arrived late.. as usual.. knowing him.. punctuality isn't his best side.. next time I drive!! Hahah.. jk la joe.. sorryz... nyways.. we reached the place.. at 830.. 8:30 PM!!! Can u believe that???? It starts at 730.. and we arrived an hour late.. and yet.. the first thing that came through my mind .. was.. so.. I guess we are not the only ones who are late.. kim hai said.. oh.. 7 ppl FFK.. so I was like -.-''.. right.. and the fire in the pit.. haha.. its so .. ok let me put it this way.. I can put my hand over the ember .. and a sauna would feel hotter.. warmer.. however u put it.. ok.. wat can u cook with that?? They were warming the chicken wings more then cooking it.. haha.. so me n joe.. took about 45mins to make a real bbq pit.. this time.. it was hot.. and we did our sad lamb chops.. this is the perfect example of DON�T EXPECT TO0 MUCH FROM SOMETHING/SOMEONEOR U WILL.. I MEAN WILL get DISSAPPOINTED.. I KNOW.. I have been hurt a lot � anyways.. disappointed I was indeed.. sighs.. It was like chewin rubber.. hah� then came count down.. we rushed to a point where ken hing said.. ''don�t worry.. from here u can see everything clearly'' that was wat I was told anyway.. n yes.. when I typed this.. u know whats comin.. all we saw�. More then HEAR.. was the fire works.. hahaha.. goin off behind the flats.. oh well.. happy new year..

Alright.. 2nd thing.. I was reading blogs rite one day.. and some posts I come across.. are either disturbing, annoying, or just plain omg I cant get a load of this crap anymore.. but lately.. I have noticed.. people tend to just write about anything small that comes by.. I mean.. I didn't know that every other day.. some would write shit like.. ''OMG, I saw an ANT thismornin.. it was crawling all over.. the funny thing is y was there only 1 ant.. usually there is a whole army of them.. the ant was actually��'' u know where I m going with this.. just an example of how little things people can notice.. but cant notice the BIG things that are happening around them.. get real dude.. haha..

Alright.. yesterday was shings birthday.. man.. I salute u.. I hope u become sum1 really successful in life haha.. so I can tell people.. I knew him when we were in school.. ;)
U see peeps.. people like him.. there should be more.. hahah � no I m not just flattering or complimenting him because of any disturbing reasons.. I just find him.. a real gentleman.. ;) anyways.. I�m not gonna talk about wat happened.. before the dinner.. haha.. I m just gonna say.. that hope u enjoyed dinner.. n the cake.. aiight? Peace..

Ok.. lets talk about first impressions or impressions whatever .. this is wat got me really ticked.. like FUCK pissed.. I�m not the type of guy .. who uses vulgarity much.. unless its for joking matters� but .. shyt.. after� going through all that� FUCK U!

I mean.. I for one.. admit.. am bad at smiling.. ok.. BAAAAAD.. ask Emmalynn.. most of my pics.. are 'garang'.. coz when I smile.. I REALLY ADMIT.. look like a jack ass.. T,T I'm not built for smiling.. only now I've been 'trainin' to smile properly.. my dad says.. u look more decent.. don�t show that looong face everywhere you go.. I was like.. I�m just my usual self.. not sad or pissed.. that's how I look!!! Yea� I'm not pissed at my dad.. he was just expressin himself about how he felt about his son's preparing to meet clients and shyt.. its wat others think ya know.. I hate it when people have nothing better to think but to think about how not-up-to-my-standard-or-taste-watever-la.. someone really is.. may it be someone close to you.. someone used to be close or friend or whatever.. come on man.. keep it to yourself. Its not making my life any easier.. just fuck off.. and keep your thoughts to your self.. and people.. one thing my dad has ever thought me.. is to always keep your cool.. you can n will meet asswipes in society.. when u eventually meet sum1 like that.. play along.. ;) right.. so.. don�t go around shoving your temper into other innocent peoples face.. I don't believe I have ever done that.. have anyone ever seen me like really MAD?!!? I mean like screw the �gangsterwannabes�.. u lot should go to hell.. who u trying to show off too.. u�re worse then roadkill.. u know who you are.. girl guy.. everyone has probably done it before.. I have to confess.. I do, do that .. not to my friends.. but my family.. I�m a dick.. fine.. I�m sorry.. bad habit.. I'm tryin to change.. only because I know that my family understands each time I m pissed.. unlike.. people out there.. who think to themselves.. ahhhh wtf..

I'm not bothered anymore about wat u think.. ok.. get of my face.. I don't even know why I bother typing all this shit.. maybe I'm just pissed.. I might smile at you.. but like everyone else.. its F(*$(@*#)@#)@K u inside.. this is why.. I categorize the people I know.. as SOCIAL-LITES and FRIENDS .. like the word LOVE .. the word friend has been misused.. friends are like.. ah.. go to my hi5.. I�ve got my own definition.. I only have a handful of friends.. my sis is like.. 'wow.. u have so many friends..' I tell her.. u got to know who are friends.. and who are just.. there.. haha.. like wat Naim told me to tell people who backstab him, before..'I don�t give a shit about wat you think about me'.. I have learned to live by that too.. except .. mine is more of.. I don�t give a @$*&(@ about wat u think about me.. unless you�re sum1 I really care� hah.. just to let u know.. humans.. are selfish.. we want everythin to go our way.. all the time. Without fail.. probably *note the probably. Don�t go all� fuck.. that�s not the reason.. this is just my pOV* the reasons y people get pissed is becoz things do not go their way.. hmmmm� well. the world does not revolve around u alone.. get that into your *@#$&@( head..

So.. peeps.. know your people.. who are your real friends.. and who are just there for socializing.. one I just call ''socialites''.. I once read this quote.. ''surround yourself with people u know that will lift u higher'' I think .. oprah winfrey said that.. yea.. salute her..so If u see me around u .. u know wats going on ;)

it is true.. there are some people.. who seem to be old enough for u to think.. hey.. you're worth talking to.. but u realize.. even a 10 year old can think better.. one FRIEND I have is only form 1 now.. she has already gained my respect.. because she is like.. understanding.. a thinker.. we have a lot in common..and most of the things she talks about makes so much sense and have never realized before.. I'm just amazed that at that age.. she can sound older then all my socialites.. heck.. some of my 'friends' sound like lil bastards.. well.. like wat some1 I knew always says.. ''huh.. uneducated''..

I never really got a chance to express this thought.. but.. after SSG.. there are only a teaspoon full of people who I wanna keep contact with.. my friends.. u guys.. brighten my life and erase the darkness.. love you guys..

in the end.. just wanna say $(*@($ U� I don�t have to bother saying who it is.. not worth staining my blog with your name.. ^^ have a nice day..

i USED to think highly of u, so much so.. that i've amired u..

ooooo another thing i wanna add.. 'people like you.. make people say we are 3rd world..''

2006-12-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

phew finaly.. i mangaged to get online.. and blogger finaly loaded.. last time.. it was either because i was just to lazy to update.. or just nothing to blog about.. now the connection isnt really setting the right mood..

if u all read the newspaper today.. something about the connection facing loads of probs because of the quake in taiwan.. omg.. i wonder how jay chou n jolin are doing.. hahaha... is anyone facing such problems?? hmm.. i wont know.. my connections always crap.. sighs..

ok.. this is was i realised lately about my posts.. is even annoys me just reading my own posts.. almost at the very end of every sentence.. i would go.. ''haha''.. i dont know if it annoyed you.. but it did annoy me.. wat the hell.. i m annoying my ownself.. whats wrong with me!!! blegh..

so... i did something.. i've never did before.. i've never imagined myself doin this.. i..i.. bought anime!!!! omfg.. not just any anime.. but an anime which is like 5 years. old.. >,< GUNDAM W!!!! hahah wats wrong with that?? i told Nigel.. and he was like... --'' ... his usual face.. JKJKJK dont get pissed off now.. smiles secretly~* anyway.. half way through.. i still cant believe i bought it.. T,T i always had a fascination over those gigantic robots.. i used to buy those plastic models.. the DIY ones.. so cool.. and last week.. i got another one.. i was just to darn bored.. blegh.. oh well.. at least.. i did something. i had too.. keke so .. does anyone wanna see the plastic Gundam!!!??!!?!?? buahahha too bad.. here it is..

i heard there wont be a countdown this year.. coz of hari raya haji.. anyone interested to celebrate it nyway??hahaha.. omg.. i did it again.. oh well.. habit habit~!! next weeks the start of the new education year.. kekekke.. goodluck to all the form 3s n form 5s .. n the new peeps enterin secondary.. ah.. too bad i'll be missin first day of skewl.. the vibe is always so exciting~!! orientation finished at 1pm on the wednesday.. i might just pay SSG a visit aih~!! remmeber~

2006-12-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

finaly.. this thing finaly loaded.. damn piece of crap phew~~~

hahah.. hello peeps.. i finaly updated eh.. well thats all folks~~~ ;)
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jk la.. haha merry christmas peeps.. shout out to ya'all.. haha..

so i have returned from penang... haha... the 4 day trip.. was.. ok la.. haha.. got to knowmore people at least.. the fun part was all those times we played water polo.. haha.. the beach was annoying.. dunno y.. i just felt like saying its annoying.. haha.. so exciting man.. i finaly managed to convinced all 12 of them.. to build.. SAND CASTLES!! haha.. so we built a quite-an-impressive-if-i-say-so-myself castle.. haha .. fort more like it.. i would have took a pic.. but .. i din have it then.. so... TOO BAD.. hahah.. the bus rides to gurney was ..ugh.. dont get me started.. the next time i go there i better drive.. got the comfort of my own car.. haha.. music la.. no sand flying onto the face.. perfect heheh.. the worse part of the trip.. joe waited so long n paid 5.50 for a burnt plate of char kuey teow.. would u get a load of that bs???? useless.. hahah oh well.. later during the nights.. we all bought alcohol baby!!! hahah.. boss vodka.. n nigel recomended mixin with coke n joe said mix with sprite.. well..sprite tasted better nigel.. hah.. joe got wasted..lol.. i survived till my 5th cup.. then i knock out.. nextmornin.. me n joe.. went to the beach to see the sunrise.. gay hor.. hahaha.. no la.. we tried to dig a 7 ft hole.. i'd be lying if i said we succeded hahah.. well.. it turned out to be a .. 2 ft hole.. T,T... haihz...thank god for my sansa n psp.. or not i'd probably die on the bus of boredom hhahah... on the way back i had to hold my piss in.. u know how torturing that is.. ahhhhh... geramnya.. hahah

my toe still black since futsal last week .. T,T.. ugly sight.. haha

oh well.. merry christmas again to all of u.. especialy.. to u .. n u .. n u.. ;)

2006-12-17T14:07:00.000+08:00

PROM 2k6

well.. proms past n history.. want my honest review of the night??? haha seriously..the venue was ... bad.. compared to last years.. the hall was so small.. 1/4 of last years i think.. i shouldnt talk about this haha.. props to myra though for ortganizing.. it aint easy doing wat she did.. cant blame her nyways.. any one who has pictures please please share em..haha after party sucked.. it was a mess.. ahah we werent allowed in.. actualy i can go in la.. just the rest all small kid haha.. so we stood out there for 1 hour in the blazing hot sun.. moon i meant.. haha.. marv paid 20 bucks.. jockey just to wait n sweat for 1 hr.. hahaha too bad fishy.. after much discussion.. we decided to go.. MAMAK!! hahaha.. in formal wear.. wow.. imagine the site.. hahah.. blegh.. joe won prom king.. Li wen won prom queen.. sweet la.. haha they danced.. only both of them.. sweet la.. hahah. --,'' naim won mr hot stuff.. hah.. i won mr outgoing!!! watever that is.. friendly person.. thats wat ppl tell me.. haha.. oh wells.. another nite passes.. boredom arrives.. hahahaihz..

ahh.. hmm...

2006-12-16T09:41:00.000+08:00

so.. i signed in my msn.. n i recieved this email from sum1.. whilst reading through.. i find some of them to be really true.. haha.. check it out... and see if you're really the baby born to that month.. ;)

---------------JANUARY BABY--------------------

pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themself and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

------------JUNE BABY -------------
You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
oneof your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at
times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will
not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive. [A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye
& you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if
you repost in 5min]

holidays.. blegh..

2006-12-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

holidays.. blegh..

oh my.. SPM is more then a week over.. now isnt that a beautiful sentence.. haha... oh well.. SSG is over.. after 11 years.. leaving that place is like moving to a new house man.. ahh.. we'll be back for sure.. at least for me.. ;) unlike PMR n UpSR.. the feeling of the last paper.. is somewhat.. different.. PMR was like.. once u shaded no80.. n checked everything for KH paper.. u stand up.. and head toward the door.. and as u place your hand on the door knob.. and see the first glimer of light.. that feeling was ... u juniors have to experience it for yourselves haha.. but spm.. wasnt so 'the same'... it was more of.. oh well.. finished.. stand .. leave.. open the door.. n ''hey.. where u going now... ok follow u'' like that kinda feeling.. hmm.. must be just me eh.. so anyways.. for the past week.. i've been around.. played futsal.. jolin concert.. goin to tailors to check out stuff.. drivin.. shoppin.. playin.. and.. its just so boring!! not the jolin part at least..

talking about JOlINS concert this time.. honestly for me.. it is a lil disappointing.. maybe its just me not liking the weather n the environment .. or maybe because this time.. i wasnt 5 meters away from her like last time.. but i found the bass really disturbing.. it was too much.. i was at jays concert.. nearer to the speakers.. and his bass wasnt AS LOUD as hers.. the crazy thing was.. I was probably 50 meters away from the speakers.. n my heart n the floor was thumping.. as usuall she started of with those super flexible moves.. seems those yoga classes paid off haha.. n then .. the beginning was kinda slow.. her ballads.. figures.. n it started pumping up when she did a number in black .. n she was hot!! haha.. n she did a few cute moves.. OMG.. i should have brought a camera.. hmm.. i'd just conlude that.. last year.. i left the concert.. feeling rather sad.. to see her leave.. but this year.. i was looking forward to just leaving.. i'm not anti jolin or anything.. nothing much against her.. just.. hmm.. seems different..

futsal was terrible man.. i was aiming to really really whack the ball with full force.. instead.. i took my own toes out.. can u imagine whacking the floor with full force with your toes.. its crazy man.. if just juggling a ball with your feet can coz u to bruise (sum1 said so) then try kicking the FLOOR!! ARGHH!!!! nightmare.. i was limping off man.. T,T as for today.. i went to KLCC with joe,muff,shirlz,keong n josh.. to buy their suits for prom.. prom is indeed confirmed at pacific regency.. its not a bad place as a matter of fact.. check it out.. i think the sites www.pacific-regency.com.. thanks emms.. haha..

2006-12-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

Maslow's primary contribution to psychology is his Hierarchy of Human Needs. Maslow contended that humans have a number of needs that are instinctoid, that is, innate. These needs are classified as "conative needs," "cognitive needs," and "aesthetic needs." "Neurotic needs" are included in Maslow's theory but do not exist within the hierarchy.

Maslow assumed our needs are arranged in a hierarchy in terms of their potency. Although all needs are instinctive, some are more powerful than others. The lower the need is in the pyramid, the more powerful it is. The higher the need is in the pyramid, the weaker and more distinctly human it is. The lower, or basic, needs on the pyramid are similar to those possessed by non-human animals, but only humans possess the higher needs.

The first four layers of the pyramid are what Maslow called "deficiency needs" or "D-needs:" the individual does not feel anything if they are met, but feels anxious if they are not met. Needs beyond the D-needs are "growth needs," "being values," or "B-needs." When fulfilled, they do not go away; rather, they motivate further."

The base of the pyramid is formed by the physiological needs, including the biological requirements for food, water, sex,air, and sleep.

Once the physiological needs are met, an individual can concentrate on the second level, the need for safety and security. Included here are the needs for structure, order, security, and predictability.

The third level is the need for love and belonging. Included here are the needs for friends and companions, a supportive family, identification with a group, and an intimate relationship.

The fourth level is the esteem needs. This group of needs requires both recognition from other people that results in feelings of prestige, acceptance, and status, and self-esteem that results in feelings of adequacy, competence, and confidence. Lack of satisfaction of the esteem needs results in discouragement and feelings of inferiority.

Finally, self-actualization sits at the apex of the original pyramid.

In 1970 Maslow published a revision to his original 1954 pyramid , adding the cognitive needs (first the need to acquire knowledge, then the need to understand that knowledge) above the need for self-actualization, and the aesthetic needs (the needs to create and/or experience beauty, balance, structure, etc.) at the top of the pyramid. However, not all versions of Maslow's pyramid include the top two levels.

Maslow theorized that unfulfilled cognitive needs can become redirected into neurotic needs. For example, children whose safety needs are not adequately met may grow into adults who compulsively hoard money or possessions. Unlike other needs, however, neurotic needs do not promote health or growth if they are satisfied.

Maslow also proposed that people who have reached self-actualization will sometimes experience a state he referred to as "transcendence," in which they become aware of not only their own fullest potential, but the fullest potential of human beings at large. He described this transcendence and its characteristics in an essay in the posthumously published The Farther Reaches of Human Nature.(taken from wikipedia.. think my eng so good meh hha)

But here is my Hierarchy of Needs..

2006-12-07T07:52:00.000+08:00

You cant leave me ..

i saw this really big building.. it was surrounded by bush.. u know those kind of garden bush thing haha.. it was brilliant.. there was clear glassed windows.. and i was curious of course.. i decided to take a risk and climbed over the wall.. i sneaked around the house.. and i could see pictures of you in the building.. i continued to sneak around to see whether u were there.. and suddenly.. this big guy.. with a grey beard appeared.. he was watering the plants around the house.. i was shocked.. so i said.. hi uncle? haha.. he looked at me and said who are you? i intro-ed myself.. and the next q he asked was.. why her.. i have so many other children.. i was like.. huh? waht the.. I told him the same answer i told everyone else.. shes so perfect.. and u appeared.. he asked me another q.. but before i could catch his q.. u pulled me away.. and went into the house.. amazingly... the whole house suddenly filled up with people i dont know.. we sat down at a round table.. u opened an envelope with a picture of red dog.. sort of in a cartoonish way.. coloured in red crayon.. there were chinese words on it.. and that man was still looking at me.. from outside.. and he disappeared .. we disappeared.. it was like we got transported to some hilly place.. on an old gigantic suspension bridge over a fast current river.. u were walking away from me... the bridge was old and was in such bad condition that if u walked on a wrong plank it might just collapse.. a kid fell from the bridge.. u jumped after her.. everyone around turned and looked.. i jumped in after too.. and all i could find was your spectacles.. we appeared at the house again.. and i was crying.. and he looked at me .. and.. I woke up.. a crazy dream..

please.. i'm going crazy.. you cant leave me behind.. dont walk away.. dont turn your back on me.. it hurts to see u do that.. please..

2006-11-28T18:09:00.000+08:00

ugh.. i dont even need to say it.. add math is finaly over!!! 2 more subjects to go.. 3 papers remaining.. only left 8 days .. and OMG.. U Guessed it.. iTs.. ahhh.. i no need to say it.. I FEEL LIKE FLYIN!! buhahahahha..

i've been so hapy for the past 4 days!! it feels like a whole mountain is lifted of my shoulders.. after this i wont bother anymore.. watever happens.. its not my doing.. thats all for now.. short post..

the end is nearing.. the excitement is fast approaching.. boredom is soon to come after.. shyt..

2006-11-25T10:20:00.000+08:00

Isnt it fast?

Wasnt it just like yesterday that i said.. MAN SPM IS ANOTHER 10 moredays.. and it has already been nearly 10 days past the start of the exam.. the end is indeed nearing!! OMG.. arent any of u excited.. we can start HAVING FUN!! AHHHHHH..

so far.. i screwed up my best subject.. science.. oh well.. no point being disapointed after all.. seeing that.. i m after all in the arts stream.. if i wanted to be good in science.. i wouldnt have joined k2.. i would still be stuck in sc2 trying to figure out how to do this n that.. hahah.. yesterdays EST was a breeze.. ahhh.. now.. its just add math.. hell.. T,T ... moral on friday n then econs on tuesday the following week.. the GREEEEEEEEAT thing is.. econs only starts at 2pm!1 hahah.. for paper 2.. then paper 1 starts the next day.. THE SAME TIME!! but.. it kinda is like.. wtf... y seperate the two papers.. goodluck to all u science students who are taking bio phys n chem.. hehe.. especialy u.. i know u can do it.. u're the best.. ;)

god bless and again.. g'luck.

2006-11-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

ThAnK YoU!!!

I HAD THE WEEEEERDEST (not wierd but werr) day MAN!! i decided not to go out todayhahah.. not to go out from the hall early.. i finished paper 2 40 minutes from time.. but i stayed in the hall.. N I THANK you for that.. OH MY GOD!!! you know wat? if i did not stay back.. i would have lost 20 marks.. i was cheicking through the paper .. i think 6 times.. hah.. nothing better to do.. i found so many mistakes!! matrix... the graphs... translations.. oh my god.. i was like 'phew'ing all the way... i think i am confident about an A for math now.. jajajjajjaja.. thanks...

happy birthday to everyone who was born today.. ;) just felt like the birthday mood.. another thing... I finAly have 100 percent power over the car buahahah.. take that!! now i can drive.. n u only could after your spm... hahah.. everything doesnt go your way u know..

2006-11-19T15:13:00.000+08:00

OH BOI~!!

tomorrow is the start of a hectic week of SPM.. n i just started doing sejarah exercises.. wat the hell m i gonna do abt sejarah.. i'm screwed... at least.. i am gonna focus on komsas, literature, math, n science.. so.. that would save my conscience the naggin.... hahah... i just cleared my room of 60 percent of the rubbish.. it looks do much bigger now.. never knew my room had a huge volume all filled with rubbish.. lol.. so.. after this week.. there will only be add maths.. which i am not gonnna bother.. probably go in and come out half an hour later.. then moral.. and the last one.. economics!!!! after that !! FREEDOM!!! AHHHHHH!!! then theres that prom thing.. alumni night?? anyone? adris steamboat farewell thingy.. follow joe to langkawi or wassit penang.. ahh.. lifes gonna be great.. i mite go to england for a couple of weeks.. then go for tailors jan intake.. from there.. i dont know wat the future holds.. we shall see eh.. the end is coming.. only another 17 days more of hell.. thats 2 plus weeks.. includin all the days without exams.. so to be exact..i got another 9 days of exams.. isnt that fab?? HEHEHEHEHHEH!!!

OH YEA.. and i just realise.. playing basketball is lame... unless u play it freestyle .. coz.. basically.. normaly 'la' .. i see people play basketball. like so ordinary.. so.. i m gonna try to learn AND1 style.. haha.. but my scoring the hoops always suck.. T,T ..

another thing.. haha.. ssg is over... i didnt go for the last day.. sniffs~* goodluck to the rest of you who are still stuck in SSG.. heheh..

and so it comes..

2006-11-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

and so it comes..

ahh.. the first day of SPM.. perdagangan.. how did i do?? paper 1 was a breeze.. cant say the same about paper 2 though.. its a lil scary just thinking about it again.. i dont even want to know how much i got for the first paper... time to start preparin for the hectic week ahead.. haihz..

i feel so far away..

2006-11-06T03:42:00.000+08:00

i just dont know why.. i'm not sleeping at all.. it nearly 4.. i have been trying to sleep since 12... just laying on the bed.. sighs.. wanna know the real reason?

the end of a wat mite be a beautiful year... i hope..

2006-11-05T10:42:00.000+08:00

oh boy.. its november 5th already.. its another 11 days till SPM!! hahha.. I M SO EXCITED THAT ITS GONNA BE OVER SOON... coz when SPM is nearing.. THE-END-OF-SPM is coming too.. now isnt that nice to hear?? hehehe.. well... i just started studying... gulp~* i have to try and save my own skin now.. i finaly managed to stop playing FF.. but then.. ACE COMBAT X entered my life on the psp.. and thank god i finished it in 2 days.. buahahah.. rite.. so.. end of 2005.. marks the end of my SSG life.. 11 years here.. ah.. filled with memories.. the bitter and the sweet.. mainly.. i think the only thing that will always be in my thoughts is a certain sum1.. y have i not have any answer from that person.. y issit that one must 'ignore' me.. i feel..alone.. hmmm... i wish i could have the chance to explain.. i wish i could be close, near.. sighs..

anyway.. after spm.. wat to do? where to go? I m gonna go crazy for a couple of months man.. must use the freedom time till the results come out.. i am aiming for at least 6 or more.. i hope it is.. IT MUST.. >.<.... probably play football n yumcha with joe n sb everyday after spm.. haha.. i hope i can take u out oneday too~!!!! hahah... then u know.. we can do stuff.. like falling down on you know where... >.<
hmm... boy do i miss that.. well.. i'm plannin to do BF at TBS.. so yea.. from there.. i m not sure.. so time will tell eh.. time .. always tell..

eh.. SUKE means neighbour in hainanese... hahah..

The Holiday Week!!

2006-10-26T17:55:00.000+08:00

Its into the middle of the one week break we have.. Raya n deepa to thank.. we were supposed to be using this time to the fullest to prepare for SPM.. guess wat!? I have been playing FFXII for the past 5 days!!! only 3 more days.. GOD SAVE ME!! about 20++ days left for the first exam.. Commerce... and then Bm, history, English, Science, Maths, Add Maths, moral and then Econs.. i cant wait for after spm hahaha.. makes no diff.. coz i m still playin.. minus the pressure though.. i'm screwed..

wat elese has happened?? well.. i went to alias for raya.. and i ate rendang till i had a sore throat... not the best rendang.. but still rendang.. hahah.. take that as a compliment k.. o well.. i m off to play ff again.. screw.. i;m dead for spm...

finaly..again

2006-10-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

i have finaly found a template.. which is dark simple n .. nice.. i hope nobody i know has this..

i got jolins new album.. i dont care bout the songs.. haha.. maybe a few.. but i just love her.. haha

ahh.. ok.. i've got many things settled this month.. time to study?? hmm.. why not eh? there is nothing to do.. talk.. look.. or .. buy?? haha.. the end is nearing.. i am so excited.. a time where.. i can just turn my back.. and not look back ever again.. i can forget things.. i always wanted too.. but becoz of some ''things'' i m unable too..

i'll probably take a few months off.. maybe.. travel.. or work.. yea.. rubbish.. yawn.. what am i gonna do now?? hmmm... nothing.. the nights young and there is.. NOTHING to do.. i know i should be studying... i'll just wait till i get my hands on that new science book.. and i'll shift into full study mode.. >.<..

i'm sorry..

i L u!!

2006-10-01T21:35:00.000+08:00

Its the month of october... i love u more then ever.... exams next month.. time to start moving the car.. cool le the pic above !! ^^

what do u think?? any of it true?? hahah

2006-09-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

The Taurus..

Patient, Reliable, Warmhearted, Loving, Persistent, Determined, Placid and Security Loving Imaginative, Sensitive, Compassionate, Kind, Selfless, Unworldly, Intuitive and Sympathetic

Jealous, Possessive, Resentful, Inflexible, Self-Indulgent and Greedy Escapist And Idealistic, Secretive And Vague, Weak-Willed And Easily Led

Taureans love pleasure and material gain. For them the outcome is all that matters, and it only matters if they have gained. They are physically sensual and tender, and love to bask in excess. Their ultimate pursuit is "the good life" in every sense of the phrase.

Like the bull that represents them, Taureans are often seen as stubborn. However, what some see as stubbornness is actually the Taurean's will to stay their chosen course to reach their goals. Bulls are pragmatic and dependable, and left to trudge along at their own speed usually attain that which they seek.

Being born in the House of Venus, it really should come as no surprise these self-indulgent pleasure seekers are also great lovers of the arts and all things beautiful. They need to be surrounded by beauty to be happy. Taureans also value tradition, stability and loyalty. At times they may be very sentimental, emotional. Conversely, there is nothing impractical about the slightly conservative Taurean. They are not risk takers. Nor are they likely to fall for get rich quick schemes. While the ways of the stable Taurean may not suit others, they ensure these Bulls will find the earthly rewards they seek.

The Taurean In Love:
Taureans are deeply romantic and very loyal. They value the harmony a happy home life creates. They will go to extremes to keep their mate happy, which, when it comes to love, is no sacrifice to the sensuous Bull. The Taurean need for the good life is equaled by their need to share that life with someone special.

Sexually, Taureans are straightforward and down-to-earth. A no-nonsense approach is favored and too much verbalizing or complex fantasizing is not a Taurean trait. This does not mean they are not capable of feeling love. Indeed, the depth of a Taurean's passion may not be understood by others. Music or other forms of sensual, non-verbal expression will strike a chord in the Taurean nature. Very faithful to friends and family, Taureans prefer long-lasting relationships and seek to build strong alliances, although they can be misled by their sensual natures, especially when young.

I am.. pissed.. I am singing halelujah.. I am looking down.. wat do i feel?? i am so clueless.. F@(#$@#)!!

2006-09-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

hmm.. for the past few days, i was trying to find myself.. trying to get back up.. it was just a tiny lil bump.. things got complicated.. rushed.. uncertained.. for one my grandma was admited to hospital recently.. twice in a month.. that scared me shitless.. and then there was other stuff like exams.. you.. her.. them.. him.. yata yata yata.. i just want to make one thing clear.. for all those who always want to see me fail.. especialy those in my class.. dont think i cant see past your mask.. there are some of u who are just a bunch of dickworts.. and i wont mind giving u a punch in the face.. just because i m big n u;re small doesnt mean u can take advantage... i will hit u.. although.. i never result to violence.. I'm a lover.. not a .. haha.. yeap..

beginning of the year.. all of you were like.. hahahah.. you lousy... you useless.. taunting me whenever u had the chance.. just because i dropped grades.. science especialy.. so wat? so wat if shao wan beat me??? she got a measley 70 ( i m such a sore loser rite now ).. i got .. .. 62.. T,T.. but that was just sheer luck.. i didnt have any extra class or watever.. i depend souly on my own translations of the book.. now after going through a year of you peoples countless taunts.. i've gotten back my crown of highest for science.. didnt I prove all of u wrong?? while all of you were at low 50s n 60s... i got nearly 80 haha.. not a result to brag.. but still .. just to say.. stop throwing words at me.. because.. you're really barking up the wrong tree.. and to all science students who are reading this.. u might think science is just wat? a lame subject.. one u could just take to score a free A.. sure it is easy enough to score.. think wat u want?? i dont really give a shyt about u ppl who think like this.. if u got a prob.. take it up with me ok?? dont be looking down at art students.. hell... if ''hell'' were upon us.. u'd be the first to go.. no offence though.. i think sum of the science students can make it.. haha.. just the nerds that look down on us.. well.. will suffer the fate i always think about.. dont get me wrong.. I respect you guys.. there are just a handful or more s students that think they're all high n mighty.. haha.. if we are stuck in a jungle n survi...... ah.. u get the point..

another thing.. i finaly got an A for moral.. after 5 years of waiting.. the last exam i am ever gonna take in ssg.. I GOT AN A FOR MORAL!! ahhh!!!!

last saturday.. was that wushu thing.. and boi wassit so UNWUSHU.. everyone fought like.. they just fought.. with no art.. simlpy whack.. wtf.. curse my weight.. if i werent so heavy.. i'd love to join and beat the hell out of a few names in mind.. especialy him.. that ass.. thinks his so GOOOOOoD huh?? hahah.. u havent faced me yet.. i just didnt wanna fight.. DAMMIT.. sighs.. i also want to fight emmalynn.. hahah... i dont mind turning into a girl for once and face the almighty Emms..

Top 5 people i wanna fight.. of course with all the pads la.. i dont wanna break a jaw or leg.. haha
5.. emmalynn.. hahah... i wanna see how ''powerful'' she is..
4... Joe... man.. i just wanna beat u up.. hahaha.. soft la u joe.. kekekke
3...yeong lung.. man.. i want revenge..!!!! for all those bear hugs u gave me..
2...Arthur.. he fought.. funny.. and.. i wanna try my chance fighting him..
1...Jia ren.. GRRRRRrrrrr.. whack my head all the time.. i wanna see u in pads.. n we can settle it.. without the pads also can....

realisation..

2006-09-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

I have realised a few things over the past week... sumthings have never changed with certain people.. whether they are close or not.. people tend to not change.. sighs.. for the good.. because of this.. this makes my pot boil man.. like raising temperatures.. i wont care anymore.. if they want it that way.. FINE.. i'll be like that too.. happy?? we shall see how long it takes for the plant to grow before something runs over it.. i've already decided not to water it.. its all up to ..

i no longer care..

tired.. again...

2006-09-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

trials are over.... i've screwed them once again.. i've screwed up.. AGAIN.. WOW.. the perfect icing on the cake.. the only thing that ever did put a smile back on me again. was a decent enough malay result.. sighs...i hope i can get a good forecast.. and maybe a good testimonial... once this is all over.. it will be RELAXATION to the max..
the change in school.. hmm.. we now finish at 1.10pm.. for form 5s of course.. poor juniours.. buahaha.. so now everyday will be another friday.. YAWN.. maybe... n i hope i can start preparing for the real thing.. i've already screwed up quite alot..

rite.. on to another new thing.. thanks to a certain sum1.. she suddenly made me so interested.. in probablt a book all of u have read a long time ago.. no.. not harry p.. or LoRings.. Angels n demons.. nother dan brown book.. i was like reading the first few pages.. and for the first time in a long time.. i suddenly had the urge to read.. i hope this is just another one of those moments... where i take interest in sumthing.. and then get bored.. coz.. this isnt really the time to be reading story books..

oh yawn..

2006-09-13T21:14:00.000+08:00

ok.. exams .. so far.. is done.. only 2 more to go.. and i am dead tired.. both physically and mentally.. my eyes.. are sore.. and .. and.. CAN U LIKE CALL ME RITE NOW!!!??? stop watching tv... hahahaha.. that ... hmmm... nothing to blog about haihz.. complete the story?? mmm.. thinking abt it..

Melodies of life..

2006-09-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

my life is being written on a score

i love that song.. twilights chapter 7.. OMG.. haha..

hmm

2006-09-09T16:06:00.000+08:00

I finally decided to give this damn thing a template.. hahah long time since i did this.. always wanted to stay simple..

I GOT JAYS ALBUM!!!
better then Nov Chopin.. n this time.. he did experiment with new styles.. props to him.. sumtimes.. when u hear his songs.. they tend to sound the same .. similiar to others songs.. and people usually criticise him for doing this.. but wat do u expect?? his already one of the best.. if not the best! n after writing over 70 songs.. its amazing he still has the creativity of writing newer songs.. salutes..

the continuos..

2006-09-09T14:50:00.000+08:00

right.. still wondering what i found in the walleT?? ohh... hahha.. should i tell... i mean that story has longed passed... its just i was lazy to type it all out again.. lol.. nyways.. the next day i went back to find her.. she wasnt actualy there ... nor did i see that dude that was with her the other day... maybe they were in skewl.. duh.. i decided to try again later in the evening.. nyways.. I myself went to school and... bleh.. same thing.. speaking about skewl.. ~switches back to reality~

oh my... trials.. hahah... what have I been doing..? hmm... last minute studying.. again.. sighs... i think i kinda blew economics.. history wasnt that bad... i think i could pass.. hahah.. had to bug ms vas about that 3 theories of islam.. was confused between Arab n China.. was it crawford or gadinho.. hah.. in the end she gave in.. n with a simple nod of the head... i managed to write the answers.. moving on to english.. ''write an article on discipline'' was it not?? anyways.. i didnt mind bitching about the uh-hums from the K1.. haha... wat a nice place to condemn n share my thoughts about ''gangsters'' yea rite.. haha.. then the 2nd Q.. i wrote about the greatest gift all.. whom only SB n Jess knows.. lol.. woops.. i typed lol.. hah.. wonder whether it annoys sum1........ ahhh...

switches back to story.. kekeekekekek

i came back in the evening.. this time i saw her standing there.. she was cute.. haha.. I approached her.. hiding the bag behind my body with one hand of course.. kekeke.. her eyes were like enlargin.. n u know that look when sum1 is like feeling.. y the hell are u coming closer n looking at me... i popped the bag out.. n she looked shocked.. she smiled and asked me where i got that bag without even giving me the chance to explain.. haha.. after telling her.. she asked me.. did u go through my wallet..? i said nope.. i turned around n said.. bye ... yee ling.. she suddenly had that dumbfounded, great just great look.. hahah.. to be continued.... or i'm just using this excuse to not continue hahah..

sighs.. memories..

puzzling reasons..

2006-07-23T13:13:00.000+08:00

rite.. so i havent had that consistency of bloggin on a regular basis.. lesser readers haha.. i just cant help it.. i'm lazy... u all should know wat a lazy typer i can be... anyways.. i'm sure everyone knows about what happened to one unfortunate kid in the other class.. in my opinion.. i guess.. its one hell of a week total sadness.. mrs andrew.. a teacher who normaly is so happy and funny.. became so down n silent after finding out the incident.. ms felicia.. a teacher who never showed any other feelings.. shes always those workaholic sorta ppl... broke down in tears.. now thats a sight one never sees everyday and i hope we shall never have to see that again.. for someone whom we dont even know.. can silence the whole school.. its just extraordinary.. from wat i heard.. he is one who is really a non-socialable (did i spell that rite? hmm) in class... often with his sudden mute~ness... he rarely talks in class.. his one of those cool silent type.. teachers scold him for not doing his work... the other students bully him for not talking and bothering abt them.. calling him all ego n everythin.. and yes... he has those trademark ''enter into the class n goes straight to bed'' moves...haha.. one day.. he made the teachers break down.. he silenced the hooligans in his class.. they were all regretin.. tears u nvr expect to see fall... well... fell!!! sighs... they say that he is scheduled for ... u know.. yesterday... i;ve not heard of any news yet... about his progress... but i guess i have to wait until tmr to find out.. watever the possible outcome.. all i can say.. n hope.. is that .. may god be with him.. let him not suffer anymore..

coming back to that other story.. the purse thingy.. yea.. so .. i do not know wat is the content of that particuliar purse.. as ''sum1'' doesnt want to continue with it.. but i'm guessing.. sooner or later.. i'd be filled in with the story.. hehe..

10 for free

2006-07-05T18:21:00.000+08:00

i was walking back from the station today.. dont ask why.. the usual was seen everywhere.. cars..cars.. more cars.. some trees... oh.. yea.. more cars .. not to mention.. some people.. as i walked pass a school.. i noticed something lying beside a row of dustbin.. hahah.. guess wat it was..a school bag.. wow.. how lucky of me.. it was still in brilliant shape.. just a little torn and worned out and the colour was fading.. pink.. i'm guessing it's a girls bag..DUH... harharhar.. anyway.. seeing no one was around to claim it.. i picked it up.. and continued on my journey back to the home of noise and boredom..
entered the house.. tossed my bag along with that bag on the side of the aquarium.. after that.. i did my usual routine.. surfing for musical notes.. or u can call em scores.. music of course kept my mind at ease... playing them on the piano was the best!! especialy when u play everything accordingly.. hours passed by.. and i forgotten about that certtain bag.. haha.. i walked passed the aquarium and it caught the corner of my eye.. out of curiousity.. anyone in the rite mind would.. hehehe.. open it and see wat treasures await.. as i pulled the zip... how disappointed i was.. YAY.. just books.. hahah.. aint that great... turned the first page.. and i saw the name.. Lim Yen Ling.. of form 5Beta.. tsk tsk...i hate books.. i just put the book back in and threw it one side... YAWN~

The next day... was toward the station.. and i saw a bunch of students all walking towards the school where i found the bag.. hahah.. so?? hmm.. actualy.. maybe i might run into wats her name again??? hahah...anyway... continued my way.. went to school.. bored again.. economics teacher was as annoying and crazy as always.. somehow.. she became immune to me.. i guess .. shes lost her power to turn heads.. in a bad way of course.. somehow or rather.. school has became really boring ever since the seniors left school .. harharhar.. sighs.. i guess.. we should do something.. like a traditional act or move.. something that the skewl will remember us by.. hahah...

oooh.. another day of skewl is over.. and again.. i walked back from the station.. AGAIN I SEE THE USUAL!! CARS CARS CARS n yea.. PPL!! ahahah.. GOD.. cant a meteor come crashin or sumthing.. JKJKJK.. and AGAIN i approached the same schooli pass by for the pass 5 years since i moved here.... hhaha.. this time no bag near the dustbins.. damn... at least a wallet?? lol.. at the first bend.. i heard a really loud shout.. a guys voice.. shouting that really familiar name.. i chose to ignore.. but when i turned my head to catch a glance.. i saw 2 figures in the distance.. i can tell it was a girl n a dude.. bushes were blocking my body from their view.. something caught my eye.. LIKE REALLY CAUGHT MA EYE..there was a FOOTBALL AT THE SIDE OF THE DUSTBIN!!! BUAHHAHA.. y didnt i see that earlier.. maybe becoz i'm seeing the dustbin from a different angle.. blegh.. i decided not to get the ball.. or rather .. steal?? only becoz there were 2 ppl standin over the dustbins.. the girl suddenly turned around.. maybe she noticed my presence? hmm.. i quickly hid my head.. n i could see.. she was talking to the dude.. i thought to myself.. y do i have to hide my head.. its not like i'm trying to infiltrate an enemy base bla bla bla.. haha.. so i went toward the dustbins ignoring the couple.. i heard them talking.. she was breathing really heavily.. like rushing or some sort.. then 1 sentence stopped me in my tracks.. ''i put the bag here that day.. we were just playing around with u'' .. and she was crying.. saying that there was something in the bag.. like i would give .. haha.. suddenly .. that guy.. came over to me.. and asked.. '' yo.. u saw a bag lying around here the other day?? round 5.. '' .. i was like.. er er er .. no.. hey. who could blame me..? he was really big.. like a 6 footer.. haha which is practicaly ma size.. lol.. and i was bigger than him.. haha. yea.. fine... i ran off..

now i was getting really excited.. buahaha.. she said there was something valuable inside.. man.. how dumb could i be to not search the bag properly.. i ran up to my room.. searched the bag.. hahah.. i found a purse.. i opened it.. and i was like.. ARGHH!!! 5 bucks!!! wat type of 17 year old chic brings 5 bucks.. haihz.. ooo. i saw her IC.. she was really pretty.. not bad..heheh... suddenly for a moment. i had a thought.. she lost the bag that day.. y would she look for it now?? must remind myself to ask her whether she has brains.. haha.. nyway.. i searched her purse.. n.. hmm.. something fell out from one of the pockets.. i picked it up.. n.. WTF!?!?!? OMG.. i rather not say it out loud... freeky!!!.. hmm .. i better return it to her tomorrow.. haha.. we shall see wat happens.. heheeh

its been awhile..

2006-07-03T19:48:00.000+08:00

rite.. so i havent been posting for a long time.. hell.. theres nothing to talk about nowadays.. so.. ya know the story.. nothing ever really happens... but lately.. world CUP!!.. IFF n IU day.. we all made abt a 40k.. so madam teh says.. hmmm.. the inai thingy.. turned out not bad afterall.. got several customers.. lol.. one after another.. no break... n siew was pestering me about it since the day before.. woke up early.. like around 5 ... coz ma sis was going for cheer.. so i was actualy in skewl at 6 on fri.. hahah.. before i knew it.. it was already 9am... n it started.. n the cream thing was .. lets just say .. it got quite a good reception..

later that day.. went to cheer 2k6.. i missed the queens n shewanez performance.. but saw them the next day.. shewanez this year... to be honest sucked.. the coach .. wasnt there.. n he was at another skewl.. probably coaching them.. ironicaly.. they won best newcomer.. booo..!! phew.. been really tired the passed few days.. wcup.. iff.. blablabla.. exams are nearing again as usual.. n i think i;ve got it covered.. but.. not even close.. T,T.. blegh...

for the passed 2-3 months.. its been really ... mild.. dull... nothing that .. makes me go WOW.. yet... i'm really looking forward too the year end.. wonder how issit like life after spm.. skewl.. sighs... congrats to all those who can drive now.. man.. my birthday was in apr.. n i only can take it later.. thanks to a certain sumbodi.. hmmph.. haihz

shes been working very hard.. days that go by.. i see her.. woah.. dont dare to even say hi.. she looks so bz..

something that comes from the heart...sincerely..

2006-05-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way
through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He
decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve
when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a
drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of
milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept
payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his
faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were
baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists
to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.
When he heard the name of the towns he came from, a strange light filled his
eyes.Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he we nt in to see her. He recognized her at once.
He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her
life.

From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business
office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote
something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it,
for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally!
, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as She read these
words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed:"Thank You, GOD, that
Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

we should all have one thing that stays in our heart no matter where, when or how we are... that is kindness.. n being thoughtful.. never forget that.. to those who are reading this.. ;) thanks for this dad.. ^^

impossible

2006-04-20T17:50:00.000+08:00

just came back from school... been thinking about wat jess said earlier today.. i felt that its impossible.. hahaha..an exact amount .. 2 percent?? 3 percent?? have i answered u jess??? hhahah...

ever had that feeling? the feeling.. when u just get in your room..toss your bag on d floor... n jump on the bed.. feels so nice~ i lay there on d bed.. thinking... with claudine turned on in the background..feeling the wind from the fan... i can probably go to sleep.. its like i AM asleep.. but i'm conciouss ( how do spell that again??? >.<) ahhhh... i cant move.. n i hear this really freaky noise.. well.. its not that freaky to me anymore.. i'm rather used to the freakiness.. harharhar... n then i appear sum where else.. n thats where i see my thoughts.. the setting n everything.. seeing the people.. hahaha.. i'm going nuts.. some crazy imagination huh... sighs.. watever...

today we had that taylors thingy.. and i thought to myself whehn he said... i was here with the previous seniors... ahhh.. the days.. they seem so far away.. especially.. ^^ blegh.. i just try not to care anymore..

tired..

2006-04-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

barely a few minutes to midnite.. i'm feeling tired.. its been a long time since i last posted anything.. its the 4th month of the year.. 6 months to sPM.. wat have i done so far?? nothing much.. haihz.. i'm screwed.. i'd be lucky if i got good results... i just dunt know.. the mood's not kicking in yet.. nowadays.. i get back.. i toss my bag on the floor.. n all of a sudden.. yea.. i cant focus on other stuff... lots of things have been goin in and out of my mind.. sighs.. maybe there will be one day.. where i start to realise.. realise that, that problem .. is no longer there... no use thinking about it.. wat happened is over. history.. though the toughts have drifted a lil away from mind.. confused.. i dont even know wat i'm typing..

sometime i feel like wanting to do good.. wake up for once.. without hearin shit from people.. early in d morning.. that'll make my day.. for once.. have a peaceful day...i know this story.. thats stuck in my head.. about this person.. who owned a small restraunt .... he had problems of his own... really bad financial problems.. he was really.. sad....depressed n had a troubled mind.. one night he sat at his restraunt.. just sitin there.. thinking.. suddenly.. a beggar.... came n asked for sum food.. without hesitation.. the man gave him some food.. n even sum money out of his own pocket..with the problems of his own.. none would have thought he would do such a thing...but he did it in the end..even at troubled times.. take the time to think.. n do a good deed.. do good.. n be a someone..

its late.. hah.. i hope u realise.. the thoughts of u still linger in my mind..

cloudless day..

2006-01-25T17:24:00.000+08:00

---Chapter 2
Swinging on a swing in her childhood, swinging her memories all the way until now…

Inside the box, there laid a note addressed to Lei:
Lei Jie,
Ni wei se me wang le wo? Why didn’t you contact me? I’ve been waiting to give back your shoe, you know, the one you lost when we were running four years ago. Back then, we were young. Chasing you around just like little kids, well let’s be friends again. Four years since we’ve last talked… what coincidence that we met just now. Hey! I have an idea, heh… let’s go meet by the swings tomorrow at 3:00, after school. We can catch up!
Sorry about my bad phrasing and such, I feel kinda awkward since you know… it’s been so long? And we’re only twelve. This isn’t a note of love… hehehe.. ehh…
Well, here’s your shoe back! It’s underneath the pack of tissue paper.
-Zhou Jie Lun

“Well, I guess I’ll meet him since there’s nothing else I need to do.” Lei thought.

The following day, Lei and Jie met by the swings. Although uncomfortable at first, they gradually overcame the silence when Jie swung so high that he fell off the swing! Lei laughed so hard that she almost fell off too. Two hours went by and the sun began to set. After some laughs, they brought up old memories of childhood.

“Lei Lei, do you still remember how we met? Well, that’s a dumb question,” Jie chuckled, “I mean, after all, I’ve already brought back some of the past by giving you back the shoe.”

“Jie, yes I still remember. And how you wouldn’t stop kicking me in Sunday school! That really made me so mad!” Lei said.

All of a sudden, Jie’s expression turned cold. Lei turned around and screamed.
“Zhou Jie Lun. Ah ha! Is this your girlfriend?” Guo Fu Cheng questioned, turning to Lei, “My my, what young face. How old are you sweetie?”
“She’s twelve! Leave her alone!” Jie cried.
“Oh? Only one year younger than you, and well, three years younger than me. She would make a beautiful bride for my handyman.” Guo Zi smirked and called, “A-Du! Come out and show this girl who you are.”

From the other side, this rough-skinned man walked out, and stroked Lei’s hair, “Oh heh… a young girl for me, a sixteen year old hag.” He sniggered.

“Back off!” Jie screamed. As a thirteen year old, younger and weaker than the rest, he couldn’t do much expect run head straight into A-Du. Knocking the hag down abruptly, but with no where to run, he and Lei swung higher and higher on the swings, kicking down anyone who came near them. The gang finally left with Guo Zi threatening a warning, “Zhou Jie Lun, you better watch out, better not cry, or else… Fair warning, next time, you’ll get it good!”

Nine years later, as I walk by the swings, as I sit on them, I recall back upon the days when Jie saved me. Together, we were strong.

yet another one i found interesting..

2006-01-21T19:42:00.000+08:00

A young man sat in the dark room, his head cupped in his hands. A notebook lay open on the ground next to him, a few words scattered through the fluttering pages, as if the writer could not find the perfect words to describe his subject. A solitary window was open, letting in a cool breeze.

As the sun rose slowly outside, a pair of sparrows landed on the powerlines outside the house, and began to sing.

The young man jolted awake at the sudden noise, and scowled when he saw where it was coming from. With a grunted curse, he went to the window and fastened it shut.

Kicking at the notebook on the floor, he headed towards the bedroom, his drawn, tight face softening involuntarily.

Peering in, he saw a young woman sitting up on the bed, staring out of the window. Jay approached her and sat beside her, his hand finding and grasping hers.

‘Look at those trees,’ she whispered, ‘how beautiful autumn is.’ Her eyes followed a single red leaf as it gracefully left its branch and descended to the ground.

‘I hate autumn,’ Jay said bitterly, ‘the leaves die, and after they’re gone the tree will have to survive winter alone.’ His hand tightened on her little one.

‘Everything must die someday, although it’s so hard when you have so much to leave behind.’ She trembled, ‘but death is a part of life, and it can be beautiful.’

Jay turned away so she wouldn’t see his trembling lips, and tried to believe her words.

‘Take me outside,’ she said, holding out her hands. Jay noticed for the first time that she was wearing her favourite white dress, the one she had on when he had first met her, two summers ago.

Heart aching, he carried her outside and, at her request set her gently down. She leant on him for a minute while she steadied her legs, and when she had gotten a hold of herself started off into the big sunflower fields near their house. She could’ve been a spirit, so pale and transparent as she was. Jay’s heart swelled with love as he watched her, and he feared it would overflow and sweep away his ability to be strong for the inevitable moment when he would have to let her go.

She had stopped and was waving to him, ‘Come on!’ she called, laughing.

They went to the old swing set. She swung quietly for a while, wishing that somehow her troubles would fly away. Jay sat with his back to her. He couldn’t bear to watch the thin white hands cling onto the swing, just like it was clinging at the life it loved so much. He couldn’t watch those eyes, for once dropping their forced cheerfulness and opening a window to the tortured soul within.

They walked, hand-in-hand, neither saying a word. After what seemed like a year, but in reality was only a few minutes, they arrived at an old, abandoned house. Jay remembered that it used to belong to an old couple who had lived together all their lives, and yet again he grew angry at God, or whoever was up there, for depriving him of that blessing.

He suddenly noticed she wasn’t holding his hand anymore; she had gone up to the old house and was looking at the small tree in the front yard, which was laden with white blossoms.

‘Isn’t it lovely?’ she exclaimed softly as Jay came to join her.

‘The man who lived here planted it for his wife. He said the blossoms reminded him of her. They’re called Qi Li Xiang, or Orange Jasmine.’

‘Qi Li Xiang,’ she breathed, ‘what a beautiful name.’

She sat down on the front porch and gazed up at the pure white flowers. ‘Sit with me, Jay.’

As soon as Jay sat down, a strong gust of wind hit the tree and hundreds of white petals rained down upon them.

Jay looked at her and saw her fear of death fading, as if the soft petals had washed it away. He felt comforted and began to feel as if he could, perhaps, let her go.

On the way home he caught her hand and whispered in her ear, ‘I really do love you, my little Orange Jasmine.’

He wrote her poem that night.

She left him in the morning.

Fan fic i found.. ''Qing Tian''

2006-01-21T19:24:00.000+08:00

Foreword

The typical story with a pair of star crossed lovers. No, this story may seem common, but to understand the meaning, you must understand love.

My name is Lei Ling, 21 years old. Six years ago, I was the quiet typical student. I had everything materialistic; my parents weren’t poor. I was the richest student in my private boarding school. It was an all female institution as my parents didn’t want me to get mixed in with males. No dating, no love; I must concentrate on my studies.

At fifteen years old, I felt nothing. It was all apathy in the blue skies. No clouds, no signs of anything; it was all blue. I kind of liked it that way, but some part of me yearned to feel the feeling that everyone claimed to be so wonderful. Back then, I didn’t believe in love. I guess I still don’t now, but it’s different.

I met the perfect man. He wrote me a song called “Cloudless Day.” Unfortunately, our end can’t be said of anything. It wasn’t happy, it wasn’t sad; I don’t think I even know how it ended. If it ever ended, it would be like that song. It’s an unfinished story. It’s still on going.

I still don’t believe in love.

Chapter 1
The small yellow flower from the story was wandering since the day she was born.

“It’s a girl!” the nurses yelled through the doors of the Hospital of Shanghai. With that said, cheers came from all over the hospital ward. “Ah… since your dad’s in America, you poor little girl, I’ll give you this,” the doctor placed a yellow jewel flower in the baby’s hand.

Eight years later…

“Lei Ling,” the teacher called in Sunday school. “Ah! I’m here!” Lei said. Turning around, she growled to the boy sitting across the table, “Stop kicking me! What do you want you stupid kid!” “Lei Ling! This is church. Please watch your mouth.” The teacher strictly spoke. Frustrated, Lei glared at the boy, who in turn smirked at her. Throughout the whole class, the boy kicked her; this conflict did not continue in that one class, but also throughout the rest of the year.

July 8, 1996. I could never forget that day.

After Sunday school that day, the boy stood outside the waiting. Casually leaning against the tree outside the small Church, he watched everyone leave from Sunday’s ceremony. That day, he overslept and could not make it in time for Sunday school. The last one out of the door was Lei Ling.
“Lei Ling!” he cried, “I’ve been waiting for you!”
Glaring at him, she responded coolly, “What do you want? I don’t even know you. I thought today I would have some peace, no more kicking, but you’re still here. Must I see you every Sunday?!”
“Aww.. Lei Lei, you surely don’t mean that, now do you?” he grinned and took her hand in his. “You don’t know who I am? We’ve been in the same class every Sunday for a year and you still don’t know who I am? Well, I’m Zhou Jie Lun.”
Still angry, Lei continued walking home.
“Wait! I’ll walk you home Lei Lei!” Jie Lun yelled, following after her footsteps.

She started running home, and he chased after. It was quite a site for passerbies: two young kids chasing after each other, one in a white blouse and navy-blue skirt, and one in a baggy style. While they ran, the girl’s left leather shoe fell off. The shoe was never to be returned for quite awhile.

Lei Ling never thought to pick up her shoe. Jie Lun never returned it, not even after Lei moved that winter.

Four years later, she enrolled in a private all-girls boarding school; Jie Lun attended a public school across the street of the private institution. The day that Lei moved into the dorms, all eyes were on her. No one cared about who she really was; they just knew that she was the one of the wealthiest girl in the whole nation. The boys in Jie’s school all wanted to court her. To them, she was a ticket to free dates, free cars, free everything, but to Jie…

A boy dug a memory from four years past. As his chauffeur pulled up to Lei’s school, the girls were all in awe. He was the most shuaiest and handsomest boy. Even more, he pulled up for Lei and handed her a box.
“Eh, who are you? What’s in this box?” Lei queried.
Winking, he replied: “Open it.” With a wave, he left. The girls were in trance even more.
“Ahh! Open it!” the girls all squealed, “He’s so diao! What finess that irradiated from that guy!”
Only one girl was unimpressed. “Hmph! His eyes, so chinky, how can anyone think that guy is handsome?” A-Yue grunted.
That night, when Lei opened the box, memories overflooded her heart.
“It’s him.”

HEI SE mao..yii..

2006-01-18T17:47:00.000+08:00

2005-12-19T18:17:00.001+08:00

blegh... justlike that.. its over.. proms over.. ... ... ... ... JUST LIKE THAT....T.T.. i cant see them anymore.. most prob not.. but... ARGH.. wats the purpose of going to skewl ... just like wat sb says.. sighs.. come back from prom... get a real asmath attack.. great.. n wats worse.. a freegin sore throat.. T.T.. sleepless nights.. becoz of that. went to the doctor.. n he said... haha... dunt worry wat the doc said... small thing only.. gave me medicine.. n should be better.. lol.. back to prom.. I WONT FORGET THAT NIGHT..!! though.. missing some certain person.. haihz.. hope u're feeling guilty!! hahaha... jjkjkj... it was NICE... all i can say.. i wish it lasted longer.. really really wished it was longer.. but i guess .. u cant turn back time.. even if i really got that wish. sighs... now... SPM.. hahah...

Coral Sea

2005-11-21T19:21:00.000+08:00

Ahhh... hmmm.. for those who like shan hu hai... heheh....

o well.. holidays move into the 2nd week.. n i ran out of ideas to what to do..!! T.T ... spm is not over yet.. haihz...when ice skating the other day with a tim, muff, keong, steph n wan... lol.. they cant skate.. not to say i can haha.. tried playing a new game.. GUNZ.. fuiyoo.. that game rocks.. sorta.. not bored of it yet.. heheh..

2005-11-19T00:19:00.000+08:00

it hurts... so much.. i shouldnt have...

month of illnesses...

2005-11-13T21:17:00.000+08:00

i dont know why.. but this past few days i've been feeling real shyty.. i've been coming down with colds and fevers... usualy.. i'd get through it in a few days.. but its getting worse.. hope its nothing much though... hmm... its been awhile since i last posted.. heck.. i was kinda lazy.. with the way my internets been acting.. my comps lucky i turned it on..hahah... i came back from langkawi n penang a few days ago.. it was fun to b honest.. i actualy went there to do two things.. two main objectives.. one which i failed ... n another which i almost managed to complete.. haha.. but still failed .. T.T ... i got jays album.. about .. a week ago.. or 1 n a half weeks.. forgot la.. anyways.. i just got the poster that came with it too.. other then that.. my fav aunt is back for two weeks.. yes.. the same aunt that made all that tiramisu during my open hse...

for the past few months.. I myself.. admit.. that I am really happy... most of the things have been going one way.. and its good...in the past.. i've been through many paths.. few that have made me real sad, some which left me feeling sorry n few that has even made me feel anger.. anger becoz of hurting some ppl close to me.. for that i really wanna kick myslelf in the head.. what i've done is obviously ireversible.. the things i posted sometimes on this blog... if anyone found it hurtful or insulting or however u feel that has caused negativity.. all i can do is.. saying sorry... like i said before.. every bad thing i do.. i always feel like kicking myself.. any insults or cursing thrown at me.. hell. i'd just take it..coz i think i really deserve them.. for those who cant forgive me... i hope one day.. you'll come to realise... how much i regret.. *note this isnt really what i do everyday.. saying sorry.. i really hate saying sorry.. for some reason.. it hurts.. coz if i say sorry.. it'll mean i've done something that has caused much anger/sadness/etc...

somehow.. i just feel like saying this.. been along time since i said this actually.. ''follow your heart''.... hahaha... weird..

nearly..

2005-10-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

ah... its been nearly 2 weeks after exam.. somehow i feel pretty nervous.. SPM is coming... shyt...excited for the holidays.. which will definitly turn into a month and a half of pure boredom... n then that damn exam... so anyways.. not gonna talk about exams for awhile..

lets see... i jst found out something very depressing today... it came just like that.. smack right into the face... T.T sighs... i'm not gonna think about it.. i'll use that as an Xcuse to forget.. hehe.. i cant believe it.. just like that.. ahh.. it'll be over in a few tears..

another thing.. TODAY WAS A COMPLETE BORE~!! ARGH>>> not gonna come skewl tomorow.. definitly.. waste my time only... shyty econs.. shty add maths.. blegh.. english especially... hell ~!!! tomorow got music lesson... ARGH.. another thing that pisses me off... i had to skip hip hop.. coz.. its completely a waste of time.. bloody piss me off.. argh~!!.. GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr... feelng pretty pissed off..

it'll be over soon enough..

2005-10-24T21:49:00.001+08:00

ah... its been nearly 2 weeks after exam.. somehow i feel pretty nervous.. SPM is coming... shyt...excited for the holidays.. which will definitly turn into a month and a half of pure boredom... n then that damn exam... so anyways.. not gonna talk about exams for awhile..

lets see... i jst found out something very depressing today... it came just like that.. smack right into the face... T.T sighs... i'm not gonna think about it.. i'll use that as an Xcuse to forget.. hehe.. i cant believe it.. just like that..

another thing.. TODAY WAS A COMPLETE BORE~!! ARGH>>> not gonna come skewl tomorow.. definitly.. waste my time only... shyty econs.. shty add maths.. blegh.. english especially... hell ~!!! tomorow got music lesson... ARGH.. another thing that pisses me off... i had to skip hip hop.. coz.. its completely a waste of time.. bloody piss me off.. argh~!!.. GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr... feelng pretty pissed off..

it'll be over soon enough..

2005-10-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

ah... its been nearly 2 weeks after exam.. somehow i feel pretty nervous.. SPM is coming... shyt...excited for the holidays.. which will definitly turn into a month and a half of pure boredom... n then that damn exam... so anyways.. not gonna talk about exams for awhile..

lets see... i jst found out something very depressing today... it came just like that.. smack right into the face... T.T sighs... i'm not gonna think about it.. i'll use that as an Xcuse to forget.. hehe.. i cant believe it.. just like that..

another thing.. TODAY WAS A COMPLETE BORE~!! ARGH>>> not gonna come skewl tomorow.. definitly.. waste my time only... shyty econs.. shty add maths.. blegh.. english especially... hell ~!!! tomorow got music lesson... ARGH.. another thing that pisses me off... i had to skip hip hop.. coz.. its completely a waste of time.. bloody piss me off.. argh~!!.. GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrr... feelng pretty pissed off..

thinking..

2005-10-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

i had a great day today.. i didn need to think so much.. i decided to go out... i went to the aquarium.. saw real weird n huge fish... blegh.. waste of money.. but worth it... i gotta stop thinking so much..i have practically been going crazy... i keep my mind off it by starting to draw again... going out alot.. talking to more people.. but when i'm back alone at home in my room.. i start to think again.. sighs.. my closest frenz cant even help.. i'm getting weird.. wats goten into me...

life

2005-10-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning... feeling puzzled.. i went over to my phone.. it really was a dream.. sighs... bummer..... went to skewl ... todays wednesday... koko was football.. that was great.. phew... i played football for the first time... with concentration.. hahahaha...buahaha... i almos scored twice. damn iskanda saved twice... kicked rite at him.... WHY~!!!!?? T.T... after that.. Mabil dindt come in ..again~!! grrrr... i'll nver know my eng marks this way. haihz.. jess asked me to go down with her.. to the dman bookshop.. amazingly.. she came!!!!! shocking indeed... somethings weird.. shes been.... quiet.. sighs... (again..) i'm starting to lose that feeling again.. which is good for me.. my exam results ae gradually increasing.... except for ad maths.. still stuck at 26.. T,T AHHH!!!! lailis period today was just.. nothing.. waste of time.. listend to 4 of jays new songs.. thanks to yong tze.. buahah..... damn nice man his songs.. i tot it'll suck coz he was to busy with movies than writing songs.. but it got better... wohoo~!! cant wait for it to come out.... i sound like a girl~!!>.<.. plans for the weekends?? hmm.. maybe go out with sai beng or jess n co... having a get together.. NEXT WEEK... not this saturday... i wanna watch goal..! and.. and... narnia.. hmm...maybe that adam sandler movie.. blegh.. dunno la.. alot of movies to watch during the hols.. heheh....

2005-10-17T19:09:00.000+08:00

NOvembers chopin - Jay Chou (nov 1st)

haha.. finaly.. his new album'll be out.. yay~!! kekekeke... oh well.. today.. was so funny.. i saw this.... lazy blog already..

Full hse!!

2005-10-16T17:47:00.000+08:00

I think I - Byul

I refused to believe that it could be so,
there's no way that I'm in love with you,
I lied to myself that it's just a petty jealousy,
that I must be feeling lonely, but I cannot hide it anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

We are not meant for each other, and being friends is the best thing for us,
there isn't a single thing we have in common,
so I claimed there's no way we can be lovers,
but I don't want to make excuses anymore.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

why didn't I know that it was you,
why couldn't I see it when it was right in front of me,
it was beside me all along,
but only now can I see love.

I think I love you
But it must be so, Cause I miss you
without you,
I cannot do anything,
and you are always on my mind,
so seeing this, it must be,
I was unaware,
but now I can see that
your presence have delved deeply into my heart.

Cant believe it.. this is one of those damn good dramas.. finished it in 3 days... actualy i watched it long time ago already.. got the dvd for a cheap price... watched it about twice.. hehe.. there are other s that i wanna watch.. waiting for april snow.. !!

i tried my best..

2005-10-13T19:35:00.000+08:00

hmm... exams over.. finally.. the 2 week long ordeal.. now we can look forward to SPM!! DUM DUM DUM!!! T.T thats just great ainnit...

i do think like it..

2005-10-11T19:23:00.000+08:00

Feeling each other, knowing each other
I hope that maybe one day we’ll say “I do.”
I want to say in front of our friends
That we are more than just friends
That we will be together forever, “I Do.”
And I, I want to know
If I’m the only one feeling this way
Or if you also dream of us being together forever.

I do, I do.
I want to be with you forever, I do.
Whenever I’m with you
I think to my self I do, I do.
I want to spend my life with you,
I dream of us together, I do.
And when I finally say I do,
I hope I’m by your side
And you by my side.

Holding hands, walking side by side
Do you also feel that we belong together forever
And I, I need to know
If I’m the only one feeling this way
Or if you also dream of us being together forever.

I do, I do.
I want to be with you forever, I do.
Whenever I’m with you
I think to my self I do, I do.
I want to spend my life with you,
I dream of us together, I do.
And when I finally say I do,
I hope I’m by your side
And you by my side.

Our love is new
And it’s too early to tell
But I can’t help but dream, I do
I do, I do
I can’t help but dream, I do.

2005-10-11T17:28:00.000+08:00

well.. ad maths is finally over.. then i'm going to ms guitars concert... free show for one hour.. T.T just getting prepared.... well.. wat else?? got sejarah n pdagangan paper 2 results... 46 n 61 respectiveily... thats so sad!!! T.T... hmm.. sad day today... well... i'm changing my mind.. my word might not mean anyhing.. i risk risking everything... but its for her own good.. i'm gonna force her... i cant help it.. just sitting here.. thinking that shes skiping skewl.. n following her frenz... not studying at all.. exam is coming.. somehow.. i'll try to make her go to skewl... last few weeks.... i hate to do it.. i might be just a peanut... but.. if u choke on a peanut... can die o.. so.. there is still some chance... aza aza fighting!!!

forgetting... like trying to forget a.b.c.d.e.f.g...

2005-10-06T21:57:00.000+08:00

haih... so much happend since i last updated this damn thing.. for those who continue to read this thing... hahah... its like once a month update... well.. at least i can tell what has happened over the past month... since tha day about jia ren... i havent really spoken to him... the only thing was when i wished him happy birthday and he said thanks.. blegh.. that all.. i had a plan to study last month... to get well prepared for the finals.. yet again.. no will power.. ^^.. as usual.. i'm always last minute studying.. so the exams have arrived.... i missed bmalay... n history paper 1.. hmm.... vasinthi say i could have a chance to sit for it.. laili.. say n puts it like i'm never to sit for the malay exam.. haihz... damn gastric.. had it since wednesday around last week.. but it subsided after all... hmm.. sej paper2 was ok.. easier then i expected... then science too was quite easy... till the objective paper came... surprisingly.. it was difficult.. econs.. HELL... as usual .. that paper always puts me off.. humph... funny thing.. i hadn had a word with her for quite some time now... havent seen her for quite a bit too... she seems to be skipping school.. and often.. i would encourage her to come n study... but.. sighs.. u cant change a girl who wont want to... obviously.. had dazzling pics of her. hoho..haihz... nuff bout her... back to wat haappend over the month... hmmm.. practically.. nothing.. just the same old routine.. go home.. workout? sleep?tv? eat? sighs... one things for sure... this year i would say is the best year... especialy ............... ~why~ !!!!aza aza fighting!! u can do it lu!... ~.^